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In developing countries, children in rural communities have less access to education. Some people believe that the problem can be solved by providing more schools and teachers, while others think that the problem can be solved by providing computers and Internet access. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Write about 250 words. v.7

In developing countries, children in rural communities have less access to education. Some people believe that the problem can be solved by providing more schools and teachers, while others think that the problem can be solved by providing computers and Internet access. Write about 250 words. v. 7
It is true that a proper education is still out of reach for the children born in rural parts of developing countries. While some people suggest building more schools and sending more teachers to these areas, others would propose the provision of computers and Internet access. In my personal view, the latter seems more feasible. On the one hand, schools and teachers are still fundamental to the objective of making education accessible to countryside students. Firstly, schools serve a number of purposes other than providing places for classes. More importantly, schools also function as meeting places for students to learn the importance of collaborating and socialising with other people, provide an ideal learning environment for further study and maintain the discipline of students through regular attendance. Secondly, owing to poor access to a systematic and constant education in the first place, students in remote areas are unlikely to study by themselves effectively. In other words, teachers are required in the learning process because they can acknowledge these students’ deficiencies and help them to solve their problems by repeating the same explanation, giving suitable exercises or even tutoring them privately. On the other hand, I believe there are good reasons to supply these rural students with computers and Internet connection. The first reason is that these devices enable the students to pursue study programmes despite the fact that these students live in distant areas. For example, students can use the computer and the Internet to participate in webinars from universities or work with the teachers through emails. This idea would seem more feasible than sending teachers to remote regions to teach. Another reason is that the computer can be a useful learning tool with educational softwares. There are many computer programmes which contain a comprehensive course of self-study these days, so that the students can use these software applications without travelling out of their hometowns. In conclusion, as people have their own views in how to provide education for rural students, I think that technology would offer a more plausible solution for the reasons mentioned.
It is true that a proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is
still
out of reach for the children born in rural parts of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
suggest building more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
and sending more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
to these areas, others would propose the provision of computers and Internet access. In my personal view, the latter seems more feasible.

On the one hand,
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schools
and
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teachers
are
still
fundamental to the objective of making
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education
accessible to countryside
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students
.
Firstly
,
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schools
serve a number of purposes
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other
than providing places for classes. More
importantly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
also
function as meeting places for
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students
to learn the importance of collaborating and
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialising' is British English.
socialising
with
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other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, provide an ideal learning environment for
further
study and maintain the discipline of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
through regular attendance.
Secondly
, owing to poor access to a systematic and constant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
in the
first
place,
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students
in remote areas are unlikely to study by themselves
effectively
. In
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other
words,
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teachers
are required
in the learning process
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can acknowledge these
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students’
deficiencies and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to solve their problems by repeating the same explanation, giving suitable exercises or even tutoring them
privately
.

On the
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other
hand, I believe there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
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reasons
to supply these rural
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students
with computers and Internet connection. The
first
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reason
is that these devices enable the
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students
to pursue study
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
despite the fact that these
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students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in distant areas.
For example
,
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students
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the computer and the Internet to participate in webinars from universities or work with the
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teachers
through emails. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
would seem more feasible than sending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
to remote regions to teach. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that the computer can be a useful learning tool with educational
Possible spelling mistake found.
softwares
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
computer
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
which contain a comprehensive course of self-study these days,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
these software applications without travelling out of their hometowns.

In conclusion
, as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
views in how to provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
for rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that technology would offer a more plausible solution for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
mentioned.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay In developing countries, children in rural communities have less access to education. Some people believe that the problem can be solved by providing more schools and teachers, while others think that the problem can be solved by providing computers and Internet access. Write about 250 words. v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
344 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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