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In developing countries, children in rural communities have less access to education. Some people believe that the problem can be solved by providing more schools and teachers, while others think that the problem can be solved by providing computers and Internet access. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.5

In developing countries, children in rural communities have less access to education. Some people believe that the problem can be solved by providing more schools and teachers, while others think that the problem can be solved by providing computers and Internet access. v. 5
It is true that a proper education is still out of reach for the children born in rural parts of Developing countries. While some people suggest building more schools and sending more teachers in these areas, others would propose the provision of computers and Internet access. In my personal view, the latter seems more feasible. On the one hand, schools and teachers are still fundamental to the objective of making Discipline accessible to countryside students. Firstly, schools serve a number of purposes other than providing places for classes. More importantly, schools also function as meeting places for students to learn the importance of collaborating and socialising with other people, provide an ideal learning environment for further study and maintain the discipline of students through regular attendance. Secondly, owing to poor access to a Systematic and constant training in the first place, students in remote areas is unlikely to study by themselves effectively. In other words, teachers are required in the learning process because they can acknowledge these students’ deficiencies and help them to solve their problems by repeating the same explanation, giving suitable exercises or even tutoring them privately. On the other hand, I believe there are good reasons to supply these rural students with Computers and Internet connection. The first reason is that these devices enable the students to pursue study programmes, despite the fact that these students live in distant areas. For example, students can use the computer and the Internet to participate in webinars from universities or work with the teachers through emails. This idea would seem more feasible than sending teachers to remote regions to teach. Another reason is that the computer can be a useful learning tool with educational softwares. There are many computer programmes, which contain a comprehensive course of self-study these days, so that the students can use these software applications without travelling out of their hometowns. In conclusion, as people have their own views on how to provide education for rural Students, I think that technology would offer a more plausible solution for the reasons mentioned.
It is true that a proper education is
still
out of reach for the children born in rural parts of

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Developing countries
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
suggest building more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
and sending more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
in these areas, others would propose the provision of computers and Internet access. In my personal view, the latter seems more feasible.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
are
still
fundamental to the objective of making

Discipline accessible to countryside
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
serve a number of purposes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
than providing places for classes. More
importantly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
also
function as meeting places for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to learn the importance of collaborating and
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialising' is British English.
socialising
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, provide an ideal learning environment for
further
study and maintain the discipline of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
through regular attendance.
Secondly
, owing to poor access to a

Systematic and constant training in the
first
place,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in remote areas is unlikely to study by themselves
effectively
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
are required
in the learning process
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can acknowledge these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
deficiencies and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to solve their problems by repeating the same explanation, giving suitable exercises or even tutoring them
privately
.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, I believe there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
to supply these rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with

Computers and Internet connection. The
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that these devices enable the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to pursue study
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
, despite the fact that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in distant areas.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the computer and the Internet to participate in webinars from universities or work with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
through emails. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
would seem more feasible than sending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
to remote regions to teach. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that the computer can be a useful learning tool with educational
Possible spelling mistake found.
softwares
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
computer
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
, which contain a comprehensive course of self-study these days,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
these software applications without travelling out of their hometowns.

In conclusion
, as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
views on how to provide education for rural

Students, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that technology would offer a more plausible solution for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
mentioned.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
A different language is a different vision of life.
Federico Fellini

IELTS essay In developing countries, children in rural communities have less access to education. Some people believe that the problem can be solved by providing more schools and teachers, while others think that the problem can be solved by providing computers and Internet access. v. 5

Essay
  American English
9 paragraphs
344 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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