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Social media has many positive uses, but there have been some negative consequences to it as well. Identify a problem caused by social media and describe the solutions you would propose to address this problem. v.1

Social media has many positive uses, but there have been some negative consequences to it as well. Identify a problem caused by social media and describe the solutions you would propose to address this problem. v. 1
The social media have both positive and negative impacts, but it depends on the users and the way they are using it. The revolution of technology in the 20th century brought so many changes in this world and one of the great innovations was the internet which opened the doors and created opportunities for all industries hence, this initiative changed the way of communications and a lot of social media channels brought to the market. The newly established social media channels had a great impact on social life as well as strengthened the businesses by doing online marketing and reaching to the people around the globe by one click. Besides this; the education systems around the world also benefited from using social media. The above-mentioned benefits are not only limited to the organizations or business, but it also has an excellent influence on our social life and one of the best advantages of the social media is the networking that brings people together from around the globe and they will have the opportunity to learn about the culture of other countries. The other hand, social media also has a negative impact, especially on our daily life because these channels are an open-source for young generations and they can access any kind of materials without excess limitation to the sites with harming content. For example and minor can create an account in all sorts of social media that in some case they cannot analyse the information and make wrong decisions. Furthermore, most of the people are busy with the social media channels and they spend most of their time there, although, instead of that, they can read a book to further improve their knowledge. In conclusion, social media have both positive and negative impact on our lives, however, the business can get the benefit of it by doing marketing activities and reaching people easily and the social lives have also affected due to massive use of these channels.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
have both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impacts
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it depends on the users and the way they are using it.

The revolution of technology in the 20th century brought
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in this world and one of the great innovations was the internet which opened the doors and created opportunities for all industries
hence
, this initiative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the way of communications and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
channels
brought to the market.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
newly
established
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
channels
had a great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
life
as well
as strengthened the businesses by doing online marketing and reaching to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around the globe by one click.

Besides
this; the education systems around the world
also
benefited from using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media.

The above-mentioned benefits are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
limited to the organizations or business,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
also
has an excellent influence on our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
life and one of the best advantages of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is the networking that brings
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
together from around the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
globe and
they will have the opportunity to learn about the culture of other countries.

The other hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
also
has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
,
especially
on our daily life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
channels
are an open-source for young
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
generations and
they can access any kind of materials without excess limitation to the sites with harming content.
For example
and minor can create an account in all sorts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
that in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
case they cannot
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
the information and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
decisions.

Furthermore
, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are busy with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
channels and
they spend most of their time there, although,
instead
of that, they can read a book to
further
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their knowledge.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
have both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
on our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
,
however
, the business can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the benefit of it by doing marketing activities and reaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
easily
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
have
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
due to massive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
channels
.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
33Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
One who speaks only one language is one person, but one who speaks two languages is two people.
Turkish proverb

IELTS essay Social media has many positive uses, but there have been some negative consequences to it as well. Identify a problem caused by social media and describe the solutions you would propose to address this problem. v. 1

Essay
  American English
8 paragraphs
327 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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