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In countries where there is a high rate of unemployment most pupils should be offered only primary education There is no point in offering secondary education to those who have no hope of finding a job To what extent do you agree or disagree with this sta v.1

In countries where there is a high rate of unemployment most pupils should be offered only primary education There is no point in offering secondary education to those who have no hope of finding a job with this sta v. 1
Nature provides human beings with food, shelter, air and water for survival and protection. Over the past decades, the lifestyle of mankind has evolved in various aspects. Developments in building structures, eating habits and changes in clothing have taken place. Seemingly, the demand for food is rising worldwide. In further discussion, the reasons for the increasing food demand and its solutions would be highlighted. The main cause for the elevation in fare demand is overpopulation. As the population increased, the requirement for more shelter raised which has resulted in the conversion of agricultural land into residential or industrial purposes. According to the statistics, the human community has quadrupled since 1980, whereas, the cattle population has halved ever since. A decline in farmer figures has been observed in the current century. The reason being that the new generation is adapting modern lifestyle and luxuries. Additionally, the farming practices are fading today affecting cattle farming. The cattle, nowadays, are left without shelter, which leads them to feed on cultivated site and overgrazing. This phenomenon erodes the nutrients from the soil, making the area unsuitable for crop cultivation. Emphasizing on the remedies, the government must encourage the farmers by facilitating them with well suited equipments. Loans must be provided to farmers at low interest rate. Awareness programmes must be conducted for farmers to educate about natural manures and proper irrigation system for cultivation. In China, the government has introduced a policy to monitor the population growth where one family can have not more than one child. The violation of the policy is then met up with consequences. Likewise, other countries must initiate some rules in order to control figures of human growth. To conclude, the supply of comestibles can be met when certain amendments in the existing lifestyle are introduced and taken into consideration.
Nature provides human beings with food, shelter, air and water for survival and protection. Over the past decades, the lifestyle of mankind has evolved in various aspects. Developments in building structures, eating habits and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in clothing have taken place.
Seemingly
, the demand for food is rising worldwide. In
further
discussion, the reasons for the increasing food demand and its solutions would
be highlighted
.

The main cause for the elevation in fare demand is overpopulation. As the population increased, the requirement for more shelter raised which has resulted in the conversion of agricultural land into residential or industrial purposes. According to the statistics, the human community has quadrupled since 1980, whereas, the cattle population has halved ever since. A decline in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farmer
figures has
been observed
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
century. The reason being that the new generation is adapting modern lifestyle and luxuries.
Additionally
, the farming practices are fading
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
affecting cattle farming. The cattle, nowadays, are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
without shelter, which leads them to feed on cultivated site and overgrazing. This phenomenon erodes the nutrients from the soil, making the area unsuitable for crop cultivation.

Emphasizing on the remedies, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
encourage the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farmers
by facilitating them with well suited equipments. Loans
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be provided
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farmers
at low interest rate. Awareness
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be conducted
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
farmers
to educate about natural manures and proper irrigation system for cultivation. In China, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
has introduced a policy to monitor the population growth where one family can have not more than one child. The violation of the policy is then met up with consequences.
Likewise
, other countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
initiate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
in order to control figures of human growth.

To conclude
, the supply of comestibles can
be met
when certain amendments in the existing lifestyle
are introduced
and taken into consideration.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay In countries where there is a high rate of unemployment most pupils should be offered only primary education There is no point in offering secondary education to those who have no hope of finding a job with this sta v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
301 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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