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In countries where there is high unemployment, most pupils should be offered only primary education. There is no point in offering secondary education to those who will have no hope of finding a job. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

In countries where there is high unemployment, most pupils should be offered only primary education. There is no point in offering secondary education to those who will have no hope of finding a job. v. 1
There is a controlversial debate that pupils should be offered only primary education if their country has high unemployment rate and it is not neccesary to offer secondary education because the chance of finding a job is little. I strongly belive this statement has many flaws such as undefined correlation between education and unemployment. Hence, I do not agree with it. First of all, we need to understand the reasons behind high unemployment rate. In many cases, the high unemployment rate is due to the economic situation such as high inflation or ability of government to run the economy. Those economics indicators represent the health of the country and likely correlated with job market. Barring pupils from secondary education does not contribute to the progression of economy but also cuts its potential growth rate. For instance, secondary educated pupils should be able to adapt to working environment better than the primary one. Furthermore, people with minimum education may seek for jobs oversea at developed country where there is always a need of immigrant labor worker. Singapore is a good example where there a lot of low educated people working in construction sites and maids working at households. Those oversea jobs are great sources of foreign currency to the home country. Moreover, the idea of people has no chance finding a job even he or she got secondary education contains a major flaw. Job market is defined by demand and supply of skilled and qualified labor and the size of job market is driven by economy and development, obviously people with higher education is preferred, even that job requires no education at all and even the size of job market is small, there will always be need of labor for any industry. For example, demand of labor is always present at low development country or rural area. This idea is not only solving the economy issue but also represent the weakness in coutry government. To conclude, high unemployment rate is an issue of any economy and providing pupils with only primary eduation is not the solution to that problem and doing so may limit the country potential growth rate in future.
There is a
controlversial
debate that
pupils
should
be offered
only
primary
education
if their
country
has
high
unemployment
rate
and it is not
neccesary
to offer
secondary
education
because
the chance of finding a
job
is
little
. I
strongly
belive
this statement has
many
flaws such as undefined correlation between
education
and
unemployment
.
Hence
, I do not
agree
with it.

First of all
, we need to understand the reasons behind
high
unemployment
rate
. In
many
cases, the
high
unemployment
rate
is due to the economic situation such as
high
inflation or ability of
government
to run the
economy
. Those economics indicators represent the health of the
country
and likely correlated with
job
market
. Barring
pupils
from
secondary
education
does not contribute to the progression of
economy
but
also
cuts
its potential growth
rate
.
For instance
,
secondary
educated
pupils
should be able to adapt to working environment better than the primary one.
Furthermore
,
people
with minimum
education
may seek for
jobs
oversea at developed
country
where there is always a need of immigrant
labor
worker. Singapore is a
good
example where there
a lot of
low educated
people
working in construction sites and maids working at households. Those oversea
jobs
are great sources of foreign currency to the home country.

Moreover
, the
idea
of
people
has no chance finding a
job
even he or she
got
secondary
education
contains a major flaw.
Job
market
is defined
by demand and supply of skilled and qualified
labor
and the size of
job
market
is driven
by
economy
and development,
obviously
people
with higher
education
is preferred
, even that
job
requires no
education
at all and even the size of
job
market
is
small
, there will always
be need
of
labor
for any industry.
For example
, demand of
labor
is always present at low development
country
or rural area. This
idea
is not
only
solving the
economy
issue
but
also
represent the weakness in
coutry
government
.

To conclude
,
high
unemployment
rate
is an issue of any
economy
and providing
pupils
with
only
primary
eduation
is not the solution to that problem and doing
so
may limit the
country
potential growth
rate
in future
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
63Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay In countries where there is high unemployment, most pupils should be offered only primary education. There is no point in offering secondary education to those who will have no hope of finding a job. v. 1

Essay
4 paragraphs
360 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resources: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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