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In companies, promotions to high positions should be given to employees inside the company and not to somebody outside the company or new hiring. v.3

In companies, promotions to high positions should be given to employees inside the company and not to somebody outside the company or new hiring. v. 3
Higher positions in a company should be filled with honest, dedicated, loyal and talented individuals as the employees of such positions make the important decisions which ultimately determine the fate of the company. While selecting employees for the higher positions in an organisation, people have different views. Some of them believe that existing and deserving employees should be promoted for such positions while others advocate for outside hiring. I personally believe that inside or outside employees should get equal opportunity to fill such positions. First of all, it is natural that inside employees are loyal and their dedications are proven. They know the company and its business model better than an outsider. Hence many people are in a strong opinion that a company should always promote an internal employee to a vacant high-level position. In my opinion, they have their reasons to believe so and I also agree that a deserving internal candidate should be promoted to a high-level position. However, my opinion also includes that a company should not promote an internal employee to the high-level position if the employee does not truly deserve and qualify for this position. Secondly, the corporate world is quite competitive these days. People often switch their jobs and companies fire and hire employees more frequently than ever before. From this regard, if a company restricts its hiring policy for high-level positions only to internal candidates, it will soon fall behind other companies who have better and more deserving decision makers. On the contrary, if a company always hire from outside and does not value experienced and existing employees, it will soon face the scarcity of qualified and talented employees. Considering both of the facts, a company should always inform the internal candidates about the vacancy of a high-level position and also invite outside candidates to apply for this position. Then the hiring authority should select the best possible candidate for the position: be on an outside or an inside employee. In conclusion, hiring for high-level employees in a company is quite an important decision to make. It should not be influenced by any prejudice or outdated rules. Both the internal and external candidates should be given the opportunity to compete for this position and the most deserving candidate should be hired among them.
Higher
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positions
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
should
be filled
with honest, dedicated, loyal and talented individuals as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
decisions which
ultimately
determine the fate of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
. While selecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
for the higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positions
in an
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of them believe that existing and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
deserving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
should
be promoted
for such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positions
while others advocate for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outside
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hiring
. I
personally
believe that inside or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outside
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
equal opportunity to fill such positions.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, it is natural that inside
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
are loyal and their dedications
are proven
. They know the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
and its business model better than an outsider.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are in a strong opinion that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
should always promote an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
internal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
to a vacant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high-level
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
position
. In my opinion, they have their reasons to believe
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
and I
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
deserving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
internal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
candidate
should
be promoted
to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high-level
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
position
.
However
, my opinion
also
includes that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
should not promote an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
internal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high-level
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
position
if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
does not
truly
deserve and qualify for this position.

Secondly
, the corporate world is quite competitive these days.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
switch their jobs and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
fire and hire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
more
frequently
than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. From this regard, if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
restricts its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hiring
policy for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high-level
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
internal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
candidates
, it will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
fall behind other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
who have better and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
deserving
decision makers.
On the contrary
, if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
always hire from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outside
and does not value experienced and existing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
, it will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
face the scarcity of qualified and talented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
. Considering both of the facts, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
should always inform the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
internal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
candidates
about the vacancy of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high-level
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
position
and
also
invite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outside
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
candidates
to apply for this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
position
. Then the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hiring
authority should select the best possible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
candidate
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
position
: be on an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outside
or an inside employee.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hiring
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high-level
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
is quite an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
decision to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
. It should not
be influenced
by any prejudice or outdated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
. Both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
internal
and external
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
candidates
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the opportunity to compete for this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
position
and the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
deserving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
candidate
should
be hired
among them.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
67Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay In companies, promotions to high positions should be given to employees inside the company and not to somebody outside the company or new hiring. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
380 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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