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Some languages are increasingly spoken in different countries, while the usage of others is rapidly declining. Is this a positive or a negative development? v.1

Some languages are increasingly spoken in different countries, while the usage of others is rapidly declining. Is this a positive or a negative development? v. 1
Nowadays, international languages are rapidly growing globally, but using of the local ones is going to be deteriorated dramatically. Although some may agree that this has been more beneficial to societies, I personally think that its drawbacks have surpassed the advantages. On the one hand, talking with some specific dialect has had two important benefits. The first one is that trading has become far easier. Businesspersons knowing English language are statistically more prosperous in their business because they can communicate better with their partners than the one not knowing English. The owners of many multinational corporations are originally from English countries or live there, including Microsoft, Google in the USA or British Petroleum in the UK. As a result, these traders can have a better connection to their partners, becoming more successful in their business. Moreover, immigrants can have more comfortable lifestyles abroad. For instance, an Iranian doctor, who is perfect in the English language, can have more opportunity than the one less knowing it. On the other hand, I personally believe that other dialects must not be forgotten, and I give the green light to those supporting them. The most important reason behind it is that traditions will be loosed. Clearly, to recognise each nation, knowing about their culture is extremely crucial, and the best device is learning its language. As a prime example, many of Arabic historical transcripts, which show Arabs` history, would have been difficult to be understood if they had been changed to other languages. Their culture would have gradually been replaced with other words, and a cultural invasion would have occurred. In addition, domination of few languages can reduce the rating success of those students talking in other languages. Obviously, developing country scholars studying in developed countries have faced numerous challenges because of language; however, if they had studied in their country, they would have become more successful graduates. In particular, a Persian engineer who has moved to Canada is usually less prosperous than a Canadian one to sit a position in an English language college. In conclusion, although the domination of some languages has had several advantages, the importance of other languages should not be neglected. I personally believe that protection of mother languages can raise the value of nations` cultures and their prosperity in education.
Nowadays, international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
are
rapidly
growing globally,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
using of the local ones is going to
be deteriorated
dramatically
. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that this has been more beneficial to societies, I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that its drawbacks have surpassed the advantages.

On the one hand, talking with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
specific dialect has had two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
benefits. The
first
one is that trading has become far easier. Businesspersons
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowing
English
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
are
statistically
more prosperous in their business
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can communicate better with their partners than the one not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowing
English. The owners of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
multinational corporations are
originally
from English
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
there, including Microsoft, Google in the USA or British Petroleum in the UK.
As a result
, these traders can have a better connection to their partners, becoming more successful in their business.
Moreover
, immigrants can have more comfortable lifestyles abroad.
For instance
, an Iranian doctor, who is perfect in the English
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
, can have more opportunity than the one less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowing
it.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, I
personally
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
dialects
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
not
be forgotten
, and I give the green light to those supporting them. The most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
reason behind it is that traditions will
be loosed
.
Clearly
, to
Possible spelling mistake. 'recognise' is British English.
recognise
each nation,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowing
about their culture is
extremely
crucial, and the best device is learning its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
. As a prime example,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of Arabic historical transcripts, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
Arabs` history, would have been difficult to
be understood
if they had been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
. Their culture would have
gradually
been replaced
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, and a cultural invasion would have occurred.
In addition
, domination of few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the rating success of those students talking in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
.
Obviously
, developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
scholars studying in developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have faced numerous challenges
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
;
however
, if they had studied in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, they would have become more successful graduates.
In particular
, a Persian engineer who has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
to Canada is
usually
less prosperous than a Canadian one to sit a position in an English
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
college.

In conclusion
, although the domination of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
has had several advantages, the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
should not
be neglected
. I
personally
believe that protection of mother
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
can raise the value of nations` cultures and their prosperity in education.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some languages are increasingly spoken in different countries, while the usage of others is rapidly declining. Is this a positive or a negative development? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
382 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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