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There are more workers to work from home and more students to study from home. This is because computer technology is more accessible and cheaper. Do you think it is a positive or negative development? v.4

There are more workers to work from home and more students to study from home. This is because computer technology is more accessible and cheaper. Do you think it is a positive or negative development? v. 4
More and more people such as workers or pupils are opting-in to work from home concept. In my opinion, I think this is a positive development as it allows the user flexibility, financial viability and an increase in efficiency. One of the main reasons where people would opt-in for work from home concept is due to the flexible hours it provides. In other words, many organisations, especially permits their workers to login to the company network, usually through a secure Virtual Private Network (VPN) and work during a time they are most comfortable with. This not only allows the workers such as mothers or employees with disabilities to work with flexibility, but also gives them the option to complete their household chores and attend to work. Whereas, prior to this technology this was never possible and the employees were compelled to take a short or a full-day of leave. Another point to consider would be the efficiency and the cheaper price involved. To put it differently, with the technological advancements more and more of students all over the world are signing up for university programmes such as distance learning. Many of the students globally are under heavy financial constraints, especially with the higher tuition costs. With the help of distance learning, now they are able to attend virtual classes at a significantly lower price and also the time and the expenses involved in daily travelling the university has been wiped-out. For instance, I was able to complete my bachelor's degree from an Australian university while I was living in Sri Lanka at a much cheaper price. It would have not been possible if it was not for such technology. In conclusion, although traditional methods of working or learning is still the trend, distance learning or working from home has many benefits and can be considered as a positive trend.
More and more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
such as workers or pupils are opting-in to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from home concept. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
the user flexibility, financial viability and an increase in efficiency.

One of the main reasons where
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would opt-in for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from home concept is due to the flexible hours it provides.
In other words
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
,
especially
permits their workers to login to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
network,
usually
through a secure Virtual Private Network (VPN) and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
during a time they are most comfortable with. This not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
the workers such as mothers or employees with disabilities to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
with flexibility,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
gives them the option to complete their household chores and attend to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. Whereas, prior to this technology this was never possible and the employees
were compelled
to take a short or a full-day of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
.

Another point to consider would be the efficiency and the cheaper price involved. To put it
differently
, with the technological advancements more and more of students all over the world are signing up for university
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
such as distance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
of the students globally are under heavy financial constraints,
especially
with the higher tuition costs. With the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of distance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
they are able to attend virtual classes at a
significantly
lower price and
also
the time and the expenses involved in daily travelling the university has
been wiped
-out.
For instance
, I was able to complete my bachelor's degree from an Australian university while I was living in Sri Lanka at a much cheaper price. It would have not been possible if it was not for such technology.

In conclusion
, although traditional methods of working or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
is
still
the trend, distance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
or working from home has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits and can
be considered
as a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
trend.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay There are more workers to work from home and more students to study from home. This is because computer technology is more accessible and cheaper. Do you think it is a positive or negative development? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
309 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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