Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

In certain cultures old age is considered to be more important while in others it’s the opposite, children are thought to be more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.2

In certain cultures old age is considered to be more important while in others it’s the opposite, children are thought to be more important. v. 2
In some places of this world place old people in a higher part society. In another part of earth, children take important role as the future leader. This essay will argue both of sides. In Asia, especially Indonesia, Grey age is a time when a person considered as an experienced one. This is why his knowledge and opinion are worth. People believe of their advice. Young people tend to be rush and careless, here, public need to balance in deciding something. Also, Indonesians see grands as their parents, so they suppose to honor old people. Doing bad things to parents means betraying God. God reason is very valuable as long more than half of Indonesian are muslim. In some productive country, Youngsters are more important than old people. This issue comes from working style in life, that a person is measured from his usefulness in industry. The less productivity of a man the far him of society. This is because more company will avoid him from working. Moreover, grey people often need much help to do their activity, but their children choose to send them to a nursing home. Their family refuse to take their responsibility, because this activity is not productive. People of this residence type are more concern in the future, and children is the main role of the next era. In my opinion, taking elder people in the high place is a must. As a child of certain parent, I need to remember that my success comes from their pray. A great era will never forget its culture and history, and old people are a part of it. In the same time, focusing in youngsters are important too. Especially in shaping them to be great person who honors the old people
In
some
places of this world place
old
people
in a higher part society. In another part of earth, children take
important
role as the future leader. This essay will argue both of sides.

In Asia,
especially
Indonesia, Grey age is a time when a person considered as an experienced one. This is why his knowledge and opinion are worth.
People
believe of their advice. Young
people
tend to be rush and careless, here, public need to balance in deciding something.
Also
, Indonesians
see
grands as their parents,
so
they suppose to honor
old
people
. Doing
bad
things to parents means betraying God. God reason is
very
valuable as long more than half of Indonesian are
muslim
.

In
some
productive country, Youngsters are more
important
than
old
people
. This issue
comes
from working style in life, that a person
is measured
from his usefulness in industry. The less productivity of a
man
the far him of society. This is
because
more
company
will avoid him from working.
Moreover
,
grey
people
often
need much
help
to do their activity,
but
their children choose to
send
them to a nursing home. Their family refuse to take their responsibility,
because
this activity is not productive.
People
of this residence type are more concern in the future, and children is the main role of the
next
era.

In my opinion, taking elder
people
in the high place is a
must
. As a child of certain parent, I need to remember that my success
comes
from their pray. A great era will never forget its culture and history, and
old
people
are a part of it. In the same time, focusing in youngsters are
important
too.
Especially
in shaping them to be great person who honors the
old
people
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay In certain cultures old age is considered to be more important while in others it’s the opposite, children are thought to be more important. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts