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In some cultures the old age is more valued while in some cultures youth is more valued Discuss both views and give your opinion v.1

In some cultures the old age is more valued while in some cultures youth is more valued 1
Some opine that societies which administer by a female are more peaceful than the ones that have a male headship. Two mentioned categories could be investigated in subjects of statistics of each leadership, the era of them, and the level of peace in their countries. On the one hand, most of the communities throughout human evolution has been controlled and head by men as a first-person of them in the role of king, caliph, etc. These rulers usually have used harsh action and punishments to suspect their reign and have endeavoured to eradicate all of the interior and exterior threats since they normally achieved their position with warfare which leads to harshness and severity. Such deeds in some cases are the roots of unbearable crimes range from suppressing of their opponent to kill a great deal of people. Genocide of Armenian in 1915 by the Ottoman empires, the event that about 1. 5 million defenceless people had been slaughtered could be an unforgettable example of such class of headship. On the other hand, women usually have been recognized as an administrator of a country after the Second World War, when most of the governments around the world have been formed based on sociological theories to extend peace. The era that United Nation has monitored government cruel and less dictatorial power has seemed, the leadership of women has been started to develop, albeit the number of their leadership rather than men is incomparable without considering the time constraints. In such a peaceful world and despite the observation of human right officers of the United Nation, the world was observant of Rohingya genocide in Myanmar, a country that has a female lead. Such event demonstrates that violence has a poor connection and probably no connection to the gender of leadership and mostly roots in psychological disease and government organization. In conclusion, there is an opinion asserting that violence of government, which has a male leadership seems more than the ones that are controlled by women. Regarding this issue with considering some factories, including abundant of female leaderships, criminal events such as genocide, and finally the era of their realm, it can be derived that peace level of society has a poor dependency to the gender of leaders and mostly connected with the structure and foundation of governments.
Some
opine that societies which administer by a female are more peaceful than the
ones
that have a male headship. Two mentioned categories could
be investigated
in subjects of statistics of each
leadership
, the era of them, and the level of peace in their countries.

On the one hand, most of the communities throughout human evolution has
been controlled
and head by
men
as a
first
-person of them in the role of king, caliph, etc. These rulers
usually
have
used
harsh action and punishments to suspect their reign and have
endeavoured
to eradicate
all of the
interior and exterior threats since they
normally
achieved their position with warfare which leads to harshness and severity. Such deeds in
some
cases are the roots of unbearable crimes range from suppressing of their opponent to kill a great deal of
people
. Genocide of Armenian in 1915 by the Ottoman empires, the
event
that about 1. 5 million
defenceless
people
had
been slaughtered
could be an unforgettable example of such
class
of headship.

On the other hand
, women
usually
have
been recognized
as an administrator of a country after the Second
World
War, when most of the
governments
around the
world
have
been formed
based on sociological theories to extend peace. The era that United Nation has monitored
government
cruel and less dictatorial power has seemed, the
leadership
of women has been
started
to develop, albeit the number of their
leadership
rather
than
men
is incomparable without considering the time constraints. In such a peaceful
world
and despite the observation of human right officers of the United Nation, the
world
was observant of Rohingya genocide in Myanmar, a country that has a female lead. Such
event
demonstrates that violence has a poor connection and
probably
no connection to the gender of
leadership
and
mostly
roots in psychological disease and
government
organization.

In conclusion
, there is an opinion asserting that violence of
government
, which has a male
leadership
seems more than the
ones
that
are controlled
by women. Regarding this issue with considering
some
factories, including abundant of female
leaderships
, criminal
events
such as genocide, and
finally
the era of their realm, it can
be derived
that peace level of society has a poor dependency to the gender of leaders and
mostly
connected with the structure and foundation of
governments
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay In some cultures the old age is more valued while in some cultures youth is more valued 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
385 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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