Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people say that it is not good for children to grow up in the city and that the countryside is more suitable for them. Do you agree or disagree? v.2

Some people say that it is not good for children to grow up in the city and that the countryside is more suitable for them. v. 2
There is an opinion that living in countryside is better than living in a city. I am agree with this. Here my arguments. Firstly, living in countryside is far from pollution. As we know that more trees in village. It is good for their health. Secondly, villagers usually kinder than people in city, they still hold herritage culture to teach attitute for children. This is different from urban life in city, that their live is oriented in money. People in city do much more damage for environment and their body. For example, mostly youngsters in city prefer eat junk food for a quickness reason. Some of company owners build factories, which pollutes the air. In other side, education and technology in city is moving faster than in countryside. Teachers in city usually have higher graduation than in village. Also, student in city get better access in technology than in countryside. This part is important to shape smart generations. Somehow, smart is not the most important aspect. Attitude will frame a person to be more humanity, sincere and has higher emphaty. Those manners are more urgent than increasing IQ. This part needs to teach in early year of a child. Today we find much smart people but lack of manner and it makes this world worse than before. Based on the reasons above, I stand in my perspective that living in countryside is better for children' s growth. They need to learn kindness and norm first than mathematic or computer.
There is an opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
is better than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a city. I am
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this. Here my arguments.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
is far from pollution.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
we know that more trees in village. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for their health.
Secondly
, villagers
usually
kinder than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in city, they
still
hold
Possible spelling mistake found.
herritage
culture to teach
Possible spelling mistake found.
attitute
for children.

This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from urban life in city, that their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
is oriented
in money.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
in city do much more damage for environment and their body.
For example
,
mostly
youngsters in city prefer eat junk food for a quickness reason.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
owners build factories, which pollutes the air.

In other side, education and technology in city is moving faster than in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
. Teachers in city
usually
have higher graduation than in village.
Also
, student in city
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
better access in technology than in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
. This part is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to shape smart generations.

Somehow, smart is not the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
aspect. Attitude will frame a person to be more humanity, sincere and has higher
Possible spelling mistake found.
emphaty
. Those manners are more urgent than increasing IQ. This part needs to teach in early year of a child.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
we find much smart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
lack of manner and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
this world worse than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.

Based on the reasons above, I stand in my perspective that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
is better for
Possible spelling mistake found.
children&
#039; s growth. They need to learn kindness and norm
Use "(first)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
first
than mathematic or computer.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that it is not good for children to grow up in the city and that the countryside is more suitable for them. v. 2

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
249 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts