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In some countries old people are highly valued and in other countries the young are considered to be more valuable. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Or Some cultures value old age while others value young age. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

In some countries old people are highly valued and in other countries the young are considered to be more valuable. Or Some cultures value old age while others value young age. v. 1
People have different views about whether the elderly or the young are more valued. This essay will discuss both points of view Aged people have more experience behind them. They have seen more life. As a result of this they have a deeper understanding of the problems of the world and are more capable of making judicious decisions. In Australian culture, aged men and women command great respect in the society. Theirs tend to be the last word in matters of utmost importance. Young men and women in the family may have better educational qualifications, but they still listen to their aged parents and grandparents. Consider the case of world leaders. Most of them are men and women in their sixties or seventies. They are chosen leaders for their ability to handle situations with more maturity. All over the world, people who occupy higher positions aren’t exactly young. Youngsters may be full of energy and enthusiasm, but they lack experience and the maturity that comes with it. They are also more likely to get carried away by their emotions or excitement. On the flip side, old age is a period of increasing dependence. As people age, their faculties may get impaired. They may have trouble remembering things or taking sound decisions. Unfortunately, this is an inevitable part of the process of aging. People also become much less productive in their twilight years. After analyzing the situation, it is felt that both ages have their merits and demerits. Age may bring wisdom, but it also makes people dependent. The truth is that no society can survive without the energy and enthusiasm of its youngsters. And if they receive the guidance of their aged counterparts, they will be able to work wonders.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views about whether the elderly or the young are more valued. This essay will discuss both points of
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
view


Aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have more experience behind them. They have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
more life.
As a result
of this they have a deeper understanding of the problems of the world and are more capable of making judicious decisions. In Australian culture, aged
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women command great respect in the society. Theirs tend to be the last word in matters of utmost importance. Young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women in the family may have better educational qualifications,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
still
listen to their aged parents and grandparents.

Consider the case of world leaders. Most of them are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women in their sixties or seventies. They
are chosen
leaders for their ability to handle situations with more maturity. All over the world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who occupy higher positions aren’t exactly young. Youngsters may be full of energy and enthusiasm,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they lack experience and the maturity that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
with it. They are
also
more likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
carried away by their emotions or excitement.

On the flip side,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
is a period of increasing dependence. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
, their faculties may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
impaired. They may have trouble remembering things or taking sound decisions. Unfortunately, this is an inevitable part of the process of aging.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
also
become much less productive in their twilight years.

After analyzing the situation, it
is felt
that both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
have their merits and demerits.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Age
may bring wisdom,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
dependent. The truth is that no society can survive without the energy and enthusiasm of its youngsters. And if they receive the guidance of their aged counterparts, they will be able to work wonders.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay In some countries old people are highly valued and in other countries the young are considered to be more valuable. Or Some cultures value old age while others value young age. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
290 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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