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In Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.2

In Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family? v. 2
In recent years, the number of people who live in nursing homes in England, Wales and Scotland has been increasing. Some people believe that the family should pay for the care of nursing homes. However, I argue that the government should take responsibility for the cost. The first reason is that some people are too old to pay for the care of other family members and the second reason is that some families cannot afford to pay for the care. The government should pay for the cost of nursing homes because some family members are also too old to pay for the cost of care. Some countries have an aging population due to healthier lifestyles and the advanced state of medical technology. Take Japanese society as an example; it is predicted that one-third of the population in 20 years will be over 65 years. This means that 70 year old people might have to pay for the care of their elderly parents in the future. I therefore believe that taxpayer money should pay for elderly care. The second reason is that the financial situation varies depending on the family. In the case that families cannot afford to pay for the cost, they have to take care of their elderly loved ones. While some people think it is natural to take care of elderly people and they are willing to bath them, feed them and shower them, other people find it very difficult. It is not uncommon that family members use financial, physical, and psychological abuse on their elderly parents because of the stress from taking care of them. For example, there were an increase in the number of cases of euthanasia in countries where this is legal during the recent global economic recession. In conclusion, I strongly agree with the idea that the state should pay for the care of the aged because some family members are too old to pay for them and it might be a heavy burden to take care of them at home. Therefore, the government should establish their pension system for the care of elderly citizens.
In recent years, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in nursing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
in England, Wales and Scotland has been increasing.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of nursing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
.
However
, I argue that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should take responsibility for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
. The
first
reason is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are too
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
and the second reason is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
cannot afford to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
for the care.

The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
of nursing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
are
also
too
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
countries have an aging population due to healthier lifestyles and the advanced state of medical technology. Take Japanese society as an example; it
is predicted
that one-third of the population in 20 years will be over 65 years. This means that 70
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
might
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
parents in the future. I
therefore
believe that taxpayer money should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
care.

The second reason is that the financial situation varies depending on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. In the case that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
cannot afford to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is natural to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
people and
they are willing
Did you mean "to bathe"?
to bath
them, feed them and shower them, other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
find it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult. It is not uncommon that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
financial, physical, and psychological abuse on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
from taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of them.
For example
, there were an increase in the number of cases of euthanasia in countries where this is legal during the recent global economic recession.

In conclusion
, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that the state should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of the aged
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
are too
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
for them and it might be a heavy burden to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of them at home.
Therefore
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should establish their pension system for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
citizens.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
57Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
A special kind of beauty exists which is born in language, of language, and for language.
Gaston Bachelard

IELTS essay In Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
351 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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