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In Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family? v.5

In Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family? v. 5
Senior citizens in Britain usually reside in elders' homes, and in certain instances they are funded by the government. All citizens during their youth contribute to state funds through taxes, and also, certain families are not able to afford elders' homes which they are well deserved. Therefore, the authorities should take up the responsibility of the elders in the country and provide them with a comfortable life when they are weak and in need. Every individual pay taxes from their earnings, directly or indirectly during their life. Even though the contribution would not be the same by all individuals, it is more or less the same percentage of their income. Therefore, it is the responsibility of the authorities to take care of the people who contributed to finance the developments in the country. They could be coming from various backgrounds; however, the state should make sure to treat every senior citizen equally, providing them with the best healthcare and service facilities. Moreover, with the increase in the cost of living, most families struggle to live their day to day lives. Despite how concerned they are about their family members, they might not have the luxury to afford a state of the art elders' homes for their parents or grandparents. Similarly, certain elders might not have descendents to care for them. In my opinion, elders should be looked after well by the government, no matter what their social status is. Relevant authorities should ensure that all elders' homes are up to the same standards and all residents are well taken care of.
Senior citizens in Britain
usually
reside in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elders'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
, and in certain instances they
are funded
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
. All citizens during their youth contribute to state funds through taxes, and
also
, certain families are not able to afford
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elders'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
which they are well deserved.
Therefore
, the authorities should take up the responsibility of the elders in the country and provide them with a comfortable life when they are weak and in need.

Every individual pay taxes from their earnings,
directly
or
indirectly
during their life.
Even though
the contribution would not be the same by all individuals, it is more or less the same percentage of their income.
Therefore
, it is the responsibility of the authorities to take care of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who contributed to finance the developments in the country. They could be coming from various backgrounds;
however
, the state should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure to treat every senior citizen
equally
, providing them with the best healthcare and service facilities.

Moreover
, with the increase in the cost of living, most families struggle to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
their
It appears that two hyphens are missing.
day to day
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. Despite how concerned they are about their family members, they might not have the luxury to afford a
Did you mean "state-of-the-art"?
state of the art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elders'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
for their parents or grandparents.
Similarly
, certain elders might not have
Possible spelling mistake found.
descendents
to care for them.

In my opinion, elders should
be looked
after well by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
, no matter what their social status is. Relevant authorities should ensure that all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elders'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
are up to the same standards and all residents are well taken care of.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS essay In Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family? v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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