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In Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.24

In Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family? v. 24
There is no doubt that these days people are living longer than before because of the new medication systems worldwide, however, the question: Who has to pay the costs for older people to stay in elderly peoples' houses? Is being a controversial issue nowadays, while I tend to believe that each family have to afford the fees for their old people in order to stay in special houses with certain health care. In this essay I am going to examine this phenomenon from both viewpoints. On one side of the argument there are people who argue that government should take care of average people as they work and produce during their production ages. Furthermore, they argue that this will be a kind of appreciation for their hard work previously. One good example here is the retirement system in the United States. The system gives older people a full coverage to stay in certain houses, so they can enjoy the best medical treatment and social life. On the other hand, it is also possible to consider it with the opposing case. Families should pay for the care given to the old people, so an overage person will feel more related to his/her family. Moreover, this will allow the family to visit the overage person frequently, so he/she will be supported emotionally and his/her mental health will be perfect. For example, in some countries, people can pay to provide older people with special care inside houses instead of staying away from their families. In conclusion, as we have seen there is no easy answer to this question, however, I guess families should take care of their old people financially and emotionally as a way of thanking them for what they did in their life for them.
There is no doubt that these days
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are living longer than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the new medication systems worldwide,
however
, the question: Who
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
pay the costs for older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to stay in elderly peoples'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
? Is being a controversial issue nowadays, while I tend to believe that each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
afford the fees for their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in order to stay in special
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
with certain health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
. In this essay I am going to examine this phenomenon from both viewpoints.

On one side of the argument there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who argue that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
as they work and produce during their production ages.
Furthermore
, they argue that this will be a kind of appreciation for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work previously. One
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example here is the retirement system in the United States. The system gives older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
a full coverage to stay in certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can enjoy the best medical treatment and social life.

On the other hand
, it is
also
possible to consider it with the opposing case.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Families
should pay for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
an overage person will feel more related to his/her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
Moreover
, this will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
to visit the overage person
frequently
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
he/she will
be supported
emotionally
and his/her mental health will be perfect.
For example
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can pay to provide older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with special
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
inside
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
instead
of staying away from their families.

In conclusion
, as we have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
there is no easy answer to this question,
however
, I guess
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
should take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
financially
and
emotionally
as a way of thanking them for what they did in their life for them.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay In Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family? v. 24

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
294 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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