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In Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.9

The concept of living in retirement homes and living with people with similar age group where personal support workers are taking care of them has grown widely. Although, most of these people do have a family and their family member also pays fees, sometimes, the government has to provide financial support to such places. The question of who should provide financial support to these retirement homes has always been the topic of debate, I am going to discuss the reasons why the government should provide monetory support and why the family member of these people should pay for them. Firstly, the government is responsible to support such places because, this older generation has paid taxes all their working life, and now is the time for the government to take care of them and help them in their 2nd inning of life. Secondly, not all these elderly people are coming from wealthy families and their families are not capable of providing them with both financial as well mental support and that's the reason why the government should help them by building and sponsoring these old age homes. Lastly, these elders are important asset to the society and community, and the government should play their part on helping these people. Although, I firmly believe the government should help, I also think that the families should contribute as well. Because, all these younger generation is living healthy and peacefull life because of their parent and grandparents, as they are the ones who nurtured them, and make them become a better people. Furthermore, in their time, these senior citizens helped their children growing up so, now it is their turn to expect the same. In countries like India, the concept of living in retirement homes for senior is still not widely accepted as, people still believe that these senior citizen should not be living alone and it is their responsibiity to take care of them. To sum up, I strongly believe that family should provide as much support as possible all along with the government should also help them financially.
The concept of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in retirement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
and
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living
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with similar age group where personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
workers are taking care of them has grown
widely
. Although, most of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
member
also
pays fees,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
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provide
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
to such places. The question of who should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
to these retirement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
has always been the topic of debate, I am going to discuss the reasons why the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
Possible spelling mistake found.
monetory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
and why the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
member of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should pay for them.

Firstly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is responsible to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
such places
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, this older generation has paid taxes all their working life, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
is the time for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to take care of them and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them in their 2nd inning of life.
Secondly
, not all these elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are coming from wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
are not capable of providing them with both financial
as well
mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
and that's the reason why the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them by building and sponsoring these
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
.
Lastly
, these elders are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
asset to the society and community, and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should play their part on helping these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Although, I
firmly
believe the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
, I
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
should contribute
as well
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
, all these younger generation is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
healthy and
Possible spelling mistake found.
peacefull
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their parent and grandparents, as they are the ones who nurtured them, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them become a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Furthermore
, in their time, these senior citizens
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
their children growing up
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
it is their turn to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
the same. In countries like India, the concept of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in retirement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
for senior is
still
not
widely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
as,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
still
believe that these senior citizen should not be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
alone and
it is their
Possible spelling mistake found.
responsibiity
to take care of them.

To sum up, I
strongly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
as much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
as possible all along with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them
financially
.
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IELTS essay In Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
346 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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