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In Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.23

In Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family? v. 23
Nowadays, the debate whether the government or the family should pay for the nurses, who take care of old strangers, has caused a ruckus among myriads of citizens. Typically, almost everything in our world has its supporters yet is overshadowed by its opponents. Now, I am going to illustrate both sides of the coin, then I will reveal my perspective. With emphasis to my opinion, there is a vast plethora of merits regarding this highly disputatious topic. First and foremost, if the government paid for this care, not only will it improve the country's publicity among others, but importers may also offer discounted products for this service. That is to say that, this may save money to be invested in other community service. For example, another country gave us food for old people, then the money, which was saved for their food, can be used in buying better and more expensive medicines. Extremely biased in my opinion; however in spite of the countless merits, one cannot turn a blind eye on the incontestable demerits. Firstly, citizens may be coerced to pay higher taxes, which will partly contribute in aiding these people and the other part will be used to develop the country. It cannot be neglected that some may say "why would I pay extra taxes for people I do not know? ". Although it may seem unfair in the short term as they will be paying money for superfluous service, this will-without negotiation-completely changes once if he put himself in their shows or any of his relatives were in their place! Others disagree-claiming that their families should be the one who is responsible for the fees of this care. Actually, I fervently acquiesce that although government should pay part of this cost, the family should also financially contribute unless someone's family could not afford it. To take all points into consideration, I have a resolute unwavering advocate that this home is a life buoy for hordes of people. Notwithstanding that the family should also help financing these people's expenses as much as they can. Charity projects may even be held for them!
Nowadays, the debate whether the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
or the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
for the nurses, who take care of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
strangers, has caused a ruckus among myriads of citizens.
Typically
, almost everything in our world has its supporters
yet
is overshadowed
by its opponents.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, I am going to illustrate both sides of the coin, then I will reveal my perspective.

With emphasis to my opinion, there is a vast plethora of merits regarding this
highly
disputatious topic.
First
and foremost, if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
paid for this care, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
will it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the country's publicity among others,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
importers may
also
offer discounted products for this service.
That is
to say that, this may save money to
be invested
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
community service.
For example
, another country gave us food for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, then the money, which
was saved
for their food, can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in buying better and more expensive medicines.

Extremely
biased in my opinion;
however
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
the countless merits, one cannot turn a blind eye on the incontestable demerits.
Firstly
, citizens may
be coerced
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
higher taxes, which will partly contribute in aiding these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
part will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to develop the country. It cannot
be neglected
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
may say
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
why would I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
extra taxes for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
I do not know?
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
. Although it may seem unfair in the short term as they will be paying money for superfluous service, this will-without negotiation-completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
once if he put himself in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
or any of his relatives were in their place! Others disagree-claiming that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
should be the one who is responsible for the fees of this care. Actually, I
fervently
acquiesce that although
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
part of this cost, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
should
also
financially
contribute unless someone's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
could not afford it.

To take all points into consideration, I have a resolute unwavering advocate that this home is a life buoy for hordes of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Notwithstanding that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
should
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
financing these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's expenses as much as they can. Charity projects may even
be held
for them!
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages know nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS essay In Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family? v. 23

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
353 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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