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In Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.21

Old-people’s home is a popular accommodation for the retired and elderly folks in Britain. They are well equipped with adequate facilities and specially trained nurses who cater to them. There is a growing discussion about who is responsible for the upkeep of these folks housed in the homes. While some say it is the responsibility of their family, others argue that payment should be billed to the government. This essay will discuss why the families should be responsible for paying the bills incurred by the elderly folks in the nursing homes. Caring for an elderly parent can be physically demanding and emotionally draining to children. In most cases, these children are grown-up and have families of their own who require their immediate attention. Therefore, it becomes easier to send their aging parents to an old people’s home where they would not only be taken care of my trained nurses, but also have a community of age-appropriate peers. These services come at a huge cost and often times becomes a burden to the family especially in cases where the aged parent have chronic health conditions which require specialist care. For example, Alzheimer’s is one of the most common and most expensive diseases that old people have. Therefore, people expect that the government will step in and use the tax that they have contributed over the years to pay for their comfort in their old age. In my opinion, people fail to realize is that the care of an aged parent is the responsible of a child and immediate family member. The government is responsible for building hospitals and subsidizing the fees to senior citizens. The decision to retire to an old people’s home is a personal one and should therefore be billed to the individual and his family. As a parent, you revolve your whole life around your family and children. Working and toiling to ensure they are well fed, have a roof over their head, have a good education and so on. It is therefore expected that upon reaching the age of retirement, the care would be reciprocated. Therefore, families who decide that their aged parents should be placed in a home need to sort out their finances and ensure it is a decision they can afford. This is often the case as most working adults contribute a portion of their salary into a pension fund which they presume will be used to care for them when they are old and eventually retire. This alleviates the financial burden that their care will have otherwise incurred and it makes it easy for the family to afford the payments.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Old
-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s home is
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply “popular accommodation”.
a popular accommodation
for the retired and elderly folks in Britain. They are
This word is normally spelled with a hyphen.
well equipped
with adequate facilities and
specially
trained nurses
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
cater to them. There is a growing discussion about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsible
for the upkeep of these folks housed in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
say it is the responsibility of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, others argue that payment should
be billed
to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
. This essay will discuss why the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsible
for paying the bills incurred by the elderly folks in the nursing homes.

Caring for an elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
can be
physically
demanding and
emotionally
draining to children.
In most cases
, these children
are grown
-up and have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
require their immediate attention.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Therefore
, it becomes easier to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
their aging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
home where they would not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be taken
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of my trained nurses,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
have a community of age-appropriate peers. These services
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
at a huge cost and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
times becomes a burden to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
especially
in cases where the aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
have chronic health conditions which require specialist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
.
For example
, Alzheimer’s is one of the most common and most expensive diseases that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
will step in and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the tax that they have contributed over the years to pay for their comfort in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
age.

In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
fail to realize is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of an aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
is the
The usual collocation for “responsible” is “responsible for”. Did you mean “responsible for” or “in charge of”?
responsible of
a child and immediate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
member. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsible
for building hospitals and subsidizing the fees to senior citizens. The decision to retire to an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
home is a personal one and should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
therefore
be billed
to the individual and his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. As a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
, you revolve your whole life around your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and children. Working and toiling to ensure they are
This word is normally spelled with a hyphen.
well fed
, have a roof over their head, have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
education and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. It is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
therefore
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
that upon reaching the age of retirement, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
would
be reciprocated
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
decide that their aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should
be placed
in a home need to sort out their finances and ensure it is a decision they can afford. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
the case as most working adults contribute a portion of their salary into a pension fund which they presume will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
for them when they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
and
eventually
retire. This alleviates the financial burden that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
will have
otherwise
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
incurred and
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it easy for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
to afford the payments.
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IELTS essay In Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
437 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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