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Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion v.1

Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. 1
There is always a conflict in a student's mind whether to take up a job directly after the schooling, in preference to going ahead for higher education. While some believe it is best to get a job immediately after school, whereas I would argue it is always better to go to a university or college. In the first place, opting for a job as soon as one finishes the secondary education is more preferable by teenagers as it has its own perks. One of the main reasons, students at present choose to get the work after higher education is being independent. Teenagers think that as soon as they start work they can earn money and get settled by themselves and do not have to be dependent on others. This thought of getting self-sufficient and independent has pushed a lot of individuals today getting placements soon after schooling. On the other hand, I believe that having a degree from a university or an institute has been always beneficial for an individual as it will yield them to get jobs in a sector where there is a requirement for a graduate certificate. For instance, to acquire a job in the field of doctor, teacher or lawyer a specific area of degree is compulsory. One cannot obtain such a profound career without having an academic background. Therefore, having a higher qualification is very essential to have a better job opportunity. To conclude, I would say that it is always more attractive for youngsters these days to grab the opportunity of getting a job and settling after the school finishes, nevertheless, I personally have a strong thought that to pursue a specialized occupation, one needs to have a proper education from a recognized institution or university.
There is always a conflict in a student's mind whether to take up a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
directly
after the schooling, in preference to going ahead for higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe it is best to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
immediately after school, whereas I would argue it is always better to go to a university or college.

In the
first
place, opting for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as one finishes the secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is more preferable by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
as it has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
perks. One of the main reasons, students at present choose to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the work after higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is being independent.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Teenagers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
work they can earn money and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
settled by themselves and do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be dependent on others. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
of getting self-sufficient and independent has pushed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
getting placements
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
after schooling.

On the other hand
, I believe that having a degree from a university or an institute has been always beneficial for an individual as it will yield them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
in a sector where there is a requirement for a graduate certificate.
For instance
, to acquire a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
in the field of doctor, teacher or lawyer a specific area of degree is compulsory. One cannot obtain such a profound career without having an academic background.
Therefore
, having a higher qualification is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
essential to have a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunity.

To conclude
, I would say that it is always more attractive for youngsters these days to grab the opportunity of getting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and settling after the school finishes,
nevertheless
, I
personally
have a strong
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that to pursue a specialized occupation, one needs to have a proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
from a recognized institution or university.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
We should learn languages because language is the only thing worth knowing even poorly.
Kató Lomb

IELTS essay Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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