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People are living in a throwaway society. using things for a short time and then throwing them away. What are the causes of this? What problems does it lead to? v.1

People are living in a throwaway society. using things for a short time and then throwing them away. What are the causes of this? What problems does it lead to? v. 1
In recent times/these days/nowadays, globalization and advanced technology have led to the phenomenon of consumerism whereby people use various goods for a short span of time/duration and as the newness/novelty of such goods fade, they tend to replace it with a new one. This trend has resulted in the evolution of a throwaway society which would have devastating consequences for human existence. Therefore, it is imperative to dissect the causes of this menace so that it could be properly addressed. 75 words There are various reasons for our penchant for consuming more goods and disposing them off soon after consumption. One of the main reasons is our materialistic lifestyle. Owning things become important when we have an internal void. So, this internal deprivation is filled with external, materialistic things. Hence, our materialistic lifestyle fuels our consumption habit. Moreover, our status consciousness contributes to this problem. We want to have the latest version of cell phones and gadgets, drive latest car, wear fancy and fashionable clothes just to keep up with the Joneses. Furthermore, an increase in wealth and disposable income has given consumers the liberty to overspend and often people are addicted to shopping, going on a shopping spree and splurging heaps of money. 120 words As our demand for consumables would increase, more resources would be required to produce those goods. Consequently, this phenomenon of a throwaway society would adversely affect our lives. First and the foremost, it will result in degradation of environment in the form of destruction of ecosystem, habitat destruction. Toxic industrial waste would have deleterious effects on the environment. We are already confronting the challenge of global warming. For example, China, which is the biggest manufacturer and exporter of goods and services and has a huge industrial base and where air pollution is rife, is facing a raft of environmental problems. Moreover, such consumption patterns could lead to a society of haves and haves not which could cause various social problems. 117 words In the nutshell, various causes and effects of the throwaway society were pinned down in this essay. Various factors like globalization, consumerism, materialism and status consciousness of individuals give rise to the problem. If the problems persist and solutions are not devised, it might not augur well for mankind and could make this planet uninhabitable.
In recent times/these days/nowadays, globalization and advanced technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
have
led to the phenomenon of consumerism whereby
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
for a short span of time/duration and as the newness/novelty of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
fade, they tend to replace it with a new one. This trend has resulted in the evolution of a throwaway
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
which would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
have
devastating consequences for human existence.
Therefore
, it is imperative to dissect the causes of this menace
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that it could be
properly
addressed. 75 words

There are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
reasons for our penchant for consuming more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
and disposing them off
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
after consumption. One of the main reasons is our materialistic lifestyle. Owning things become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
when we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
have
an internal void.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, this internal deprivation
is filled
with external, materialistic things.
Hence
, our materialistic lifestyle fuels our consumption habit.
Moreover
, our status consciousness contributes to this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
. We want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
have
the latest version of cell phones and gadgets, drive
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
car, wear fancy and fashionable clothes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
up with the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Joneses
.
Furthermore
, an increase in wealth and disposable income has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
consumers the liberty to overspend and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are addicted
to shopping, going on a shopping spree and splurging heaps of money. 120 words

As our demand for consumables would increase, more resources would
be required
to produce those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
.
Consequently
, this phenomenon of a throwaway
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
would
adversely
affect our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
First
and the foremost, it will result in degradation of environment in the form of destruction of ecosystem, habitat destruction. Toxic industrial waste would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
have
deleterious effects on the environment. We are already confronting the challenge of global warming.
For example
, China, which is the biggest manufacturer and exporter of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
and services and has a huge industrial base and where air pollution is rife, is facing a raft of environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
Moreover
, such consumption patterns could lead to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
haves
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
haves
not which could cause
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. 117 words

In the nutshell,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
causes and effects of the throwaway
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
were pinned
down in this essay.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Various
factors like globalization, consumerism, materialism and status consciousness of individuals give rise to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
persist and solutions are not devised, it might not augur well for mankind and could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
this planet uninhabitable.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Speak a new language so that the world will be a new world.
Rumi

IELTS essay People are living in a throwaway society. using things for a short time and then throwing them away. What are the causes of this? What problems does it lead to? v. 1

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
383 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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