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Luck is the main factor that determines success. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

Luck is the main factor that determines success. v. 1
In our life in order to achieve something we truly want is based on how lucky we are. Some people consider the place where you are now owing to your luck, while others think not only because of our luck we attain everything, but also due to our our commitment and hard work. I agree with both statements and will outline the reasons below. The luck and hard work are integrally vital in achieving success and they could not exist separately as one fills another by maximizing chances to succeed. Some people argue that beyond the achievement stays only luck, conversely, I personally know that to gain success luck is insufficient. I can not say luck is not imperative, unlike it is invaluable part in climbing a professional ladder. However, I would like to give an example, most of the successful leaders in the world were not born as lucky as they are now, on the contrary, they really worked for it. Moreover, nothing comes easily, especially success however lucky we are. Even lucky ones should merit it by working hard. We can rely on luck on the condition that we genuinely possess abundant knowledge and experience, on the other hand, some people underestimate the value of hard work only depending on luck. With the help of luck we could barely achieve accomplishment it can be possible when we go on working hard and believing in our luck inasmuch as luck is inherent in our hard work. Overall, both luck and hard work play a vital part in succeeding everything. So we should own not only luck, but also hardworking too.
In our life in order to achieve something we
truly
want
is based
on how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lucky
we are.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
consider the place where you are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
owing to your luck, while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of our luck we attain everything,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
due to
Possible typo: you repeated a word
our our
commitment and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with both statements and will outline the reasons below.

The luck and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
are
integrally
vital in achieving
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
success and
they could not exist
separately
as one fills another by maximizing chances to succeed.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that beyond the achievement stays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
luck,
conversely
, I
personally
know that to gain success luck is insufficient. I can not say luck is not imperative, unlike it is invaluable part in climbing a professional ladder.
However
, I would like to give an example, most of the successful leaders in the world were not born as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lucky
as they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
,
on the contrary
, they
really
worked for it.

Moreover
, nothing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
easily
,
especially
success
however
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lucky
we are. Even
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lucky
ones should merit it by working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
. We can rely on luck on the condition that we
genuinely
possess abundant knowledge and experience,
on the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
underestimate the value of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
depending on luck. With the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of luck we could
barely
achieve accomplishment it can be possible when we go on working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
and believing in our luck inasmuch as luck is inherent in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
work.

Overall
, both luck and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
play a vital part in succeeding everything.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
luck,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
hardworking too.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Luck is the main factor that determines success. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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