Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

While some people consider global warming to be the most pressing environmental problem witch we have at the moment, others believe that deforestation has a more devastating impact on our world. v.1

While some people consider global warming to be the most pressing environmental problem witch we have at the moment, others believe that deforestation has a more devastating impact on our world. v. 1
These days, when our world is developing in a faster way than ever before on the same time we have some disadvantages of it. Global warming and deforestation are some of the main problems of modern way of living. In this essay we will discuss about both difficulties. Firstly, we have to explain what are the global warming and deforestation. The polluted air caused the global warming. It destroys the ozone layer. The ozone layer protects us from UV radiation and if it destroyed UV rays warm our planet more that we need. The result is the ice caps on the poles start melting and sea level comes higher. If the sea level is higher, floods become. The scientists said Miami will disappear if global warming continues. Deforestation is another one complication. We cut the forests because we want to build the building. We aren’t aware how much important the forests are. They guarantee fresh air an protect us from strong wind. Unfortunately, if we don’t stop cutting forest, we will have dispute with tornados. Tornados will exterminate all constructions that we already built and we will be at the beginning again. In conclusion, I think people all around the world are concerned. If we want to acquire the natural peace in the world, we have to solve both problems. We can’t say which issue is more important, both of them are connected to each other. Just if we keep our nature, we will have fresher air an less dilemma with global warming and deforestation.
These days, when our world is developing in a faster way than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
on the same time we have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages of it.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warming
and deforestation are
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
main problems of modern way of living. In this essay we will
Did you mean simply "discuss both"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about both
difficulties.

Firstly
, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
what are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warming
and deforestation. The polluted air caused the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warming
. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroys
the ozone layer. The ozone layer protects us from UV radiation and if it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
UV rays warm our planet more that we need. The result is the ice caps on the poles
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
melting and sea level
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
higher. If the sea level is higher, floods become. The scientists said Miami will disappear if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warming
continues.

Deforestation is another one complication. We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
the forests
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we want to build the building. We aren’t aware how much
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
the forests are. They guarantee fresh air
Did you mean "and protect us"?
an protect us
from strong wind. Unfortunately, if we don’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
cutting forest, we will have dispute with tornados. Tornados will exterminate all constructions that we already
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
built and
we will be at the beginning again.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
all around the world
are concerned
. If we want to acquire the natural peace in the world, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
solve both problems. We can’t say which issue is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
, both of them
are connected
to each other.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Just
if we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
our nature, we will have fresher air
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
less dilemma with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warming
and deforestation.
2Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS essay While some people consider global warming to be the most pressing environmental problem witch we have at the moment, others believe that deforestation has a more devastating impact on our world. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts