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If you could meet any famous person living or dead who would you choose to meet What would you tell him her Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer v.1

If you could meet any famous person living or dead who would you choose to meet What would you tell him her Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer v. 1
A person’s lifestyle can change after migrating because it gives new experiences. Most of the people are anticipating to go abroad and live life with luxury. According to my view, I cannot see any wrong path for migrating and share their experiences with others. It will enhance other’s expectations and avid to visit other countries in the future. A person who spends in another country is not an easy activity, it may be a complex situation. Therefore, the ideas of the person living in a foreign country have a significant value. On the other hand, when people try to travelling overseas, it is essential to acknowledge some details from people who live in those countries. It assists to avoid disturbances and preserve their mentality. In my perspective, experiences and knowledge cannot be measured because it may useful for embarking a new life. Therefore, teaching some new involvement in aborad is important for some people. However, people can believe it may harm their traditional values. For instance, juveniles can persuade to dress, live, and manage their languages as a foreign language after hearing western patterns. Also, parents may worry about their kids because they may need to visit overseas. It may become a huge challenge for their parents, and destitute people cannot afford it. Furthermore, modern society automatically tends to catch up with other social upbringings such as dancing, music, and the western educational system. I believe, sometimes, it may impact the own characteristics of persons, and vanish their born traditional values. Therefore, some drawbacks can be seen in teaching a variety of nations. To sum up, people have to absorb positive outcomes from studying overseas experiences and try to escape negative circumstances.
A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person’s
lifestyle can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
after migrating
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it gives new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
. Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are anticipating to go abroad and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
life with luxury. According to my view, I cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
any
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
path for migrating and share their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
with others. It will enhance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other’s
expectations and avid to visit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in the future. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
who spends in another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is not an easy activity, it may be a complex situation.
Therefore
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
living in a foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
have a significant value.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
try to
Did you mean "travel"?
travelling
overseas, it is essential to acknowledge
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. It assists to avoid disturbances and preserve their mentality. In my perspective,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
and knowledge cannot
be measured
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
The word 'useful' is a noun or an adjective. A verb or adverb is missing or misspelled here, or maybe a comma is missing.
may useful
for embarking a new life.
Therefore
, teaching
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
new involvement in
Possible spelling mistake found.
aborad
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can believe it may harm their traditional values.
For instance
, juveniles can persuade
Did you mean "dressing"? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'persuade' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
to dress
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
, and manage their languages as a foreign language after hearing western patterns.
Also
, parents may worry about their kids
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they may need to visit overseas. It may become a huge challenge for their parents, and destitute
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot afford it.

Furthermore
, modern society
automatically
tends to catch up with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
social upbringings such as dancing, music, and the western educational system. I believe,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
, it may impact the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
characteristics of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
, and vanish their born traditional values.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in teaching a variety of nations.

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
absorb
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
outcomes from studying overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
and try to escape
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
circumstances.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay If you could meet any famous person living or dead who would you choose to meet What would you tell him her Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
282 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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