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Religion should be taught in public schools Discuss this statement giving reasons and examples to support your opinion v.1

Religion should be taught in public schools Discuss this statement giving reasons and examples to support your opinion v. 1
Although, it is thought by a principality become more interesting and develops steeply, when aits people includes a mixture of distinct nations. This essay will highlight that this certainly is a rational approach that needs to be opted and thus will lead to a logical conclusion. To start with, there are myriad of reasons which will further elaborate this argument, but the most preponderant on stems from the fact that, it is very profitable living with distinct people from different nations in one country. Therefore, the acquire their own knowledge as well as learn new different types of skills. So, people prefer living in mixture societies. Moreover, another pivotal aspect of this trend is that they will learn how to accept each other, when they live together in a community, because every country has their own customs and traditions. Needless to say, all these merits stand in good stead. Furthermore, Elaborating my viewpoint, there are some more merits, but one of the crucial effect is that the nation will benefit from the diverse human Resource’s, multinational companies always prefer a multicultural workforce. It is always helpful for the overall growth and success of the organisation. Because distinct individuals with different ideas are fruitful to a company's success. For example, this is illustrated by the fact that in India, in 2019, half of total civilians learn new things related to food, different jargon, study purposes, customs and traditions. Hence, it is apparent why many are in favour of this inclination. In the nutshell, according to the arguments aforementioned above, one can reach to a conclusion that the benefits of a mixture of the realm, because abound populace gain knowledge regarding different topic are indeed.
Although, it is
thought
by a principality become more interesting and develops
steeply
, when
aits
people
includes
a mixture of distinct nations. This essay will highlight that this
certainly
is a rational approach that needs to
be opted
and
thus
will lead to a logical conclusion.

To
start
with, there are myriad of reasons which will
further
elaborate this argument,
but
the most preponderant on stems from the fact that, it is
very
profitable living with distinct
people
from
different
nations in one country.
Therefore
,
the acquire
their
own
knowledge
as well
as learn new
different
types of
skills
.
So
,
people
prefer living in mixture societies.
Moreover
, another pivotal aspect of this trend is that they will learn how to accept each other, when they
live
together in a community,
because
every country has their
own
customs and traditions. Needless to say, all these merits stand in
good
stead.

Furthermore
, Elaborating my viewpoint, there are
some
more merits,
but
one of the crucial effect is that the nation will benefit from the diverse human Resource’s, multinational
companies
always prefer a multicultural workforce. It is always helpful for the
overall
growth and success of the
organisation
.
Because
distinct individuals with
different
ideas
are fruitful to a
company
's success.
For example
, this
is illustrated
by the fact that in India, in 2019, half of total civilians learn new things related to food,
different
jargon, study purposes, customs and traditions.
Hence
, it is apparent why
many
are in
favour
of this inclination.

In the nutshell, according to the arguments aforementioned above, one can reach to a conclusion that the benefits of a mixture of the realm,
because
abound populace gain knowledge regarding
different
topic are
indeed
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Religion should be taught in public schools Discuss this statement giving reasons and examples to support your opinion v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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