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Environmental problems such as pollution and climate variations are increasing now days The government have taken measures at global level but they got only few solution why is this and how can this problem be solved v.1

Environmental problems such as pollution and climate variations are increasing now days The government have taken measures at global level but they got only few solution why is this and how can this problem be solved v. 1
In our modern society, more and more people choose to work individually and start their own new business. This phenomenon is mainly due to the stress people often struggle at the office and peer pressures they face in companies that they will have less when they work as self-employed. However, there are some drawbacks to set up their own operation too, such as financial management. To begin with, people tend to feel stress and pressure when they work with their colleagues in an office. In fact, the work environment is not always appropriate for employees to perform well. Peer pressures, for example, can give further unnecessary stress for workers because a lot of people tend to compete with their coworkers. Another example is the way bosses treat their subordinates at work place that is not always logical or understanding. Additionally, many people in our sophisticated society are more talented and creative enough to start up their own business using their own knowledges and skills. Computer literacy, for instance, often help the self-employers start new jobs, since the computer skills are highly evaluated in the society. However, being a self-employed also has some downsides as well. Financial management skills are one of the concerns. Although many people are more sophisticated enough to start their own company, they often lack the knowledge of how to manage the budget. Taxing system is the most difficult one and need a professional intervention from lawyers to avoid illegal actions or management. Similarly, more responsibilities can discourage self-employers too. They are supposed to take all responsibilities themselves in the absence of their bosses or superiors that will be a lot of work when some issues arise. In short, self-employed workers start their own company to avoid more stress or pressures from people around them at workplaces. However, they will have to take challenges to learn better financial management skills into an account before starting a new company.
In our modern society, more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
choose to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
individually
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
new business. This phenomenon is
mainly
due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
struggle at the office and peer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressures
they face in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
that they will have less when they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
as self-employed.
However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks to set up their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
operation too, such as financial management.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to feel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
when they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
with their colleagues in an office. In fact, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
environment is not always appropriate for employees to perform well. Peer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressures
,
for example
, can give
further
unnecessary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
for workers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to compete with their coworkers. Another example is the way bosses treat their subordinates at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
place
that is
not always logical or understanding.
Additionally
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in our sophisticated society are more talented and creative
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
up their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
business using their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
Possible spelling mistake found.
knowledges
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. Computer literacy,
for instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the self-employers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
new jobs, since the computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are
highly
evaluated in the society.

However
, being a self-employed
also
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
downsides
as well
. Financial management
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are one of the concerns. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more sophisticated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
lack the knowledge of how to manage the budget. Taxing system is the most difficult one and need a professional intervention from lawyers to avoid illegal actions or management.
Similarly
, more responsibilities can discourage self-employers too. They
are supposed
to take all responsibilities themselves in the absence of their bosses or superiors that will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
when
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
issues arise.

In short, self-employed workers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
to avoid more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressures
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around them at workplaces.
However
, they will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take challenges
Did you mean "learning"? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'challenge' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
to learn
better financial management
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
into an account
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
starting a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS essay Environmental problems such as pollution and climate variations are increasing now days The government have taken measures at global level but they got only few solution why is this and how can this problem be solved v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
321 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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