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Improvements in ealth, education and trade are essential for the development of poorer nations. However, the governments of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poorer nations in such areas. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the opinion? v.1

Improvements in ealth, education and trade are essential for the development of poorer nations. However, the governments of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poorer nations in such areas. with the opinion? v. 1
Nowadays, the poverty rate has increased, especially in some countries where there are few people who own almost everything and very poor people that instead have to constantly work to earn just what make them survive. The policy behind what stands out from this incongruency, could also concern other countries, with a wide range of opportunities. I totally agree with the idea that every governments should do its best to help even other countries, if they are in troubles and in this essay I will support my opinion with examples. Firstly, richer countries should take their responsibilities in helping the in developing ones, since in many cases this poverty can be interpreted as its fault. Let's think in the very past, when the countries that are now considered rich were the ones that tended to submit others, turning them into colonies. These kind of practises had, of course, affected the economy and pauperised the citizens. Another reason is that we cannot unconcern about the worldwide poverty and governments should take their responsibilities on these issues and offer some aids to improve at least the healthcare and the education for everybody who cannot afford it. Having said that, surely the responsibilities are not mandatory just for the governments, also in our own we can give some help. There are many companies that are involved in these concerns and promote campaigns to cram for drugs, clothes, books and even money that would be devoted to these people. To sum up, I strongly believe that governments should really take responsibilities on this issue, prompting some new laws in order to try to get rid of poverty in developing countries. Moreover, we should also acquire awarness that we also could give a help.
Nowadays, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
rate has increased,
especially
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
where there are few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
almost everything and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
poor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that
instead
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
constantly
work to earn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
what
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them survive. The policy behind what stands out from this
Possible spelling mistake found.
incongruency
, could
also
concern other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, with a wide range of opportunities. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "government"?
governments
should do its best to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
even other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, if they are in troubles and in this essay I will support my opinion with examples.

Firstly
, richer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should take their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibilities
in helping the in developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
, since in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
can
be interpreted
as its fault.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
past, when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
that are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
considered rich were the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
that tended to submit others, turning them into colonies.
Did you mean "this kind" or "These kinds"?
These kind
of
Possible spelling mistake. 'practises' is British English.
practises
had,
of course
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
the economy and
Possible spelling mistake. 'pauperised' is British English.
pauperised
the citizens.

Another reason is that we cannot unconcern about the worldwide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should take their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibilities
on these issues and offer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
aids to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
at least the healthcare and the education for everybody who cannot afford it.

Having said that,
surely
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibilities
are not mandatory
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
,
also
in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
we can give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
that
are involved
in these concerns and promote campaigns to cram for drugs, clothes, books and even money that would
be devoted
to these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

To sum up, I
strongly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should
really
take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibilities
on this issue, prompting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
new laws in order to try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
rid of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
in developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
Moreover
, we should
also
acquire
Possible spelling mistake found.
awarness
that we
also
could give a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Improvements in ealth, education and trade are essential for the development of poorer nations. However, the governments of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poorer nations in such areas. with the opinion? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
289 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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