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immiration is cinsidered as one big dream for many people in poor countries. some people believe that immagration is the way to success for these people. to what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

immiration is cinsidered as one big dream for many people in poor countries. some people believe that immagration is the way to success for these people. v. 1
There are many people throughout the world who suffer from poverty as well as other problematic circumstances in their countries. Since, these are not such difficulties which could be tracked by individuals, this person find immigration as the only solution. In my view, this phenomenon has both negative and positive aspects. One the one hand, emigrating to foreign countries, as the last choice of poor people in second world countries, could have many benefits. Firstly, living in a new territory, which finding a job opportunity with suitable salary is much easier, would enable immigrants to follow their dreams where their ambitions are respected. For instance, a person in appropriate financial condition has more time and aspiration to bloom his/her skills. finally, living in such society with peace, environment, even could enhance the level of health. on the other hand, to live abroad also can bring several expected disadvantage. this, makes this decision difficult for those who choose it. One feasible difficulty is the behaviour of host society toward immigrants, according to many claims of refugees all around the world. Not surprisingly, many people who have emigrated abroad are complaining about racism. In addition to home sick is another noticeable problem which could even come for those who living with their friends in a host country. To summarize, above mentioned phenomenon has both positive and negative sides. Individuals should consider carefully both aspects of these points of view to reach a reasonable decision for their future. Moreover, there are many unforeseen situations which would be considered.
There are
many
people
throughout the world
who
suffer from poverty
as well
as other problematic circumstances in their countries. Since, these are not such difficulties which could be
tracked
by individuals, this person find immigration as the
only
solution. In my view, this phenomenon has both
negative
and
positive
aspects.

One
the one hand, emigrating to foreign countries, as the last choice of poor
people
in second world countries, could have
many
benefits.
Firstly
, living in a new territory, which finding a job opportunity with suitable salary is much easier, would enable immigrants to follow their dreams where their ambitions
are respected
.
For instance
, a person in appropriate financial condition has more time and aspiration to bloom his/her
skills
.
finally
, living in such society with peace, environment, even could enhance the level of health.

on
the other hand, to
live
abroad
also
can bring several
expected
disadvantage.
this
,
makes
this decision difficult for those
who
choose it. One feasible difficulty is the
behaviour
of host society toward immigrants, according to
many
claims of refugees all around the world. Not
surprisingly
,
many
people
who
have emigrated abroad are complaining about racism.
In addition
to home sick is another noticeable problem which could even
come
for those
who
living with their friends in a host country.

To summarize
, above mentioned phenomenon has both
positive
and
negative
sides. Individuals should consider
carefully
both aspects of these points of view to reach a reasonable decision for their future.
Moreover
, there are
many
unforeseen situations which would
be considered
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay immiration is cinsidered as one big dream for many people in poor countries. some people believe that immagration is the way to success for these people. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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