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Describe your dream job. You should say: what qualifications or experience you would needwhat the job would involvewhat you think the most difficult thing about the job would beand explain why it is your dream job. v.1

Describe your dream job. You should say: what qualifications or experience you would needwhat the job would involvewhat you think the most difficult thing about the job would beand explain why it is your dream job. v. 1
Nowadays the trend of getting married and having children after thirty years old is evident. While some people believe that it is a valuable development, others think it is rather unfavourable. This essay will argue why this transition brings mostly profits to society and should be supported rather than disapproved. To begin with, it is partly justified why societies are wary about having family after thirties. This is because of fears related to women' fertility decline after a certain age and a higher likelihood of them having complications when conceiving and giving birth. To illustrate, according to statistics, the risk of a baby having Down syndrome is doubled, if his mother is older than thirty. Thus, it is believed that it is far better for people to get married and deliver a child earlier certain age thresholds. Conversely, there should be more factors to take into account when having a family, such as material considerations. Usually a huge financial burden is placed on young couples, especially with children, when they start a family. But If a person does not marry and have a child at an early age, it would be more likely that he will climb the corporate ladder and have some savings to his early thirties to support a future family. Additionally, with advancements in medicine, such as prenatal diagnostic and IVF, there might be lesser risks to conceive in older ages. Therefore, getting married and giving birth in thirties should not be disapproved, but supported. To conclude, the trend of having a family later has gained popularity, and despite particular risks of pregnancy complications after thirty, in my opinion, this transition is mostly positive and should be encouraged, as these complications could be prevented and financial stability and independence may give a solid ground for starting a family.
Nowadays the trend of getting married and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
children after thirty years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
is evident. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that it is a valuable development, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is
rather
Possible spelling mistake. 'unfavourable' is British English.
unfavourable
. This essay will argue why this transition brings
mostly
profits to society and should
be supported
rather
than disapproved.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it is partly justified why societies are wary about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
after thirties. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of fears related to women' fertility decline after a certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
and a higher likelihood of them
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
having


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
complications
when conceiving and giving birth. To illustrate, according to statistics, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of a baby
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
Down syndrome
is doubled
, if his mother is older than thirty.
Thus
, it
is believed
that it is far better for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
married and deliver a child earlier certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
thresholds.

Conversely
, there should be more factors to take into account when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, such as material considerations.
Usually
a huge financial burden
is placed
on young couples,
especially
with children, when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
If a person does not marry and have a child at an early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
, it would be more likely that he will climb the corporate ladder and have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
savings to his early thirties to support a future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
Additionally
, with advancements in medicine, such as prenatal diagnostic and IVF, there might be lesser
The verb 'risks' is used with the gerund form: "risks conceiving".
risks to conceive
in older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
.
Therefore
, getting married and giving birth in thirties should not
be disapproved
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
supported.

To conclude
, the trend of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
later has gained popularity, and despite particular
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
of pregnancy complications after thirty, in my opinion, this transition is
mostly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and should
be encouraged
, as these complications could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevented
and financial stability and independence may give a solid ground for starting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Describe your dream job. You should say: what qualifications or experience you would needwhat the job would involvewhat you think the most difficult thing about the job would beand explain why it is your dream job. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
301 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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