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The idea of dividing the rights and duties between the opposite genders at home has always been an argumentative discussion. Some people think that the wife is the one who should rear up the children since she had decided to have them in the first place. v.1

The idea of dividing the rights and duties between the opposite genders at home has always been an argumentative discussion. Some people think that the wife is the one who should rear up the children since she had decided to have them in the first place. v. 1
The idea of dividing the rights and duties between the opposite genders at home has always been an argumentative discussion. Some people think that the wife is the one who should rear up the children since she had decided to have them in the first place. I believe that the decision of having children should be a common agreement between the couple. Besides, bringing up the kids ought to be the responsibility of both sides. The children’s ownership is for both the father and the mother so choosing-to-have-them process should be a joint one. To have a happy family relationship, there has to be an agreement on almost everything, involving the choice of whether to get children or not. Because when there are disagreements in the relationship, rows easily could happen, and they might lead to a divorce at the end. Therefore, keeping healthy relationships requires making the decisions in an equal, fair way. Taking care of kids is the responsibility of the father as much as the mother. Since, in the recent years, women started to have a job outside the home similarly to men, it is not solely their responsibility to look after the children. If both sides help in bringing up their babies, the due of deciding whether to bring them to light or not is a common due between dad and mom. However, sometimes the babysitter looks after the children at home so, bringing up the kids is no longer an argument point. To conclude, fatherhood is as much important as motherhood. In my view, the parents should be equal in everything, including taking the decisions and rearing up their sweet boys and girls.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of dividing the rights and duties between the opposite genders at home has always been an argumentative discussion.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the wife is the one who should rear up the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
since she had decided to have them in the
first
place. I believe that the decision of having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should be a common agreement between the couple.
Besides
, bringing up the kids ought to be the responsibility of both sides.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
ownership is for both the father and the mother
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
choosing-to-have-them process should be a joint one. To have a happy family relationship, there
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be an agreement on almost everything, involving the choice of whether to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
or not.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
when there are disagreements in the relationship, rows
easily
could happen, and they might lead to a divorce at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
.
Therefore
, keeping healthy relationships requires making the decisions in an equal,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
way.

Taking care of kids is the responsibility of the father as much as the mother. Since, in the recent years, women
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to have a job outside the home
similarly
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
, it is not
solely
their responsibility to look after the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. If both sides
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in bringing up their babies, the due of deciding whether to bring them to light or not is a common due between dad and mom.
However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
the babysitter looks after the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
at home
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, bringing up the kids is no longer an argument point.

To conclude
, fatherhood is as much
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as motherhood. In my view, the parents should be equal in everything, including taking the decisions and rearing up their sweet boys and girls.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay The idea of dividing the rights and duties between the opposite genders at home has always been an argumentative discussion. Some people think that the wife is the one who should rear up the children since she had decided to have them in the first place. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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