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Immigrants to a country should be forced to learn that country's language. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.2

Immigrants to a country should be forced to learn that country's language. v. 2
Speaking another language is a very important part in our lives and societies. In order to be such a proliferate person, we have to speak another language that helps us to communicate and contact with others, especially, when a person immigrants to another country. Even though learning a new language is really hard and frustrating, personally, I agree that immigrants to a country should be forced to learn that country' s language for two imperative reasons. To begin with, it is more convenience for a person who travelled to that country. It will facilitate his deeds among the people around him so he can talk easily, he can get a job and he can finish his works freely. Take myself as an example, when I came to the United States, I couldn' t speak very well. In fact, I was scared to discuss with any native speakers, so I had struggled a lot at first becuase I had to ask for help to pay my expenses and take appointments with doctors. Actually, I was so disappointed about that until one of institution which supports immigrants here, it taught me how to speak and how to communicate with other people. Surprisingly, I was able to complete my commitments easily and this was convenient for me and my family. If I couldn' t learn English language, I wouldn' t have flourished and be such a social person. This experience taught me that we should improve our language in a countery where we live in. Second, speaking that language will increase a chance for a person to get a good job and be a confident one. When an immigrant arrive to new country, he would to find a job, study, and without learning their language, he will face many problem and he will frustrated about that. For instance, three years ago, my friend came with her family The United States and she didn' t understand the new language since she arabian and her first language is arabic. She definitely confront a lot of obstacles and she couldn' t find a good job. Although, she is a pharmacist and her husband a computer programmer, but they didn' t find such a comfortable job. They worked as cashier and they were disappointed about that since they are professional so this affected on their life that made it more difficult and they had no confidence. After one year, they taught the new language and they found good jobs instead which endorse them to be confident and devoted persons. As we clearly see, withourt learning the new language, we will be frustrated and desperate. By the way of conclusion, based on the arguments explored above, I firmly concur that we should adapt a new language and a new culture to be a successful person in the world. I think there are a lot of advantages to learn that language and it is worthwhile.
Speaking another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and societies. In order to be such
After 'a', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'proliferate' is correct. If 'proliferate' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
a proliferate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
speak another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
us to communicate and contact with others,
especially
, when a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
immigrants
to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Even though
learning a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
is
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
and frustrating,
personally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
immigrants
to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
should
be forced
to learn that
Possible spelling mistake found.
country&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
for two imperative reasons.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it is more convenience for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
who travelled to that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. It will facilitate his deeds among the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
around him
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
he can talk
easily
, he can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
job and
he can finish his works
freely
. Take myself as an example, when I came to the United States, I
Possible spelling mistake found.
couldn&
#039; t speak
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
well. In fact, I
was scared
to discuss with any native speakers,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I had struggled a lot at
first
Possible spelling mistake found.
becuase
I had to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ask for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to pay my expenses and take appointments with doctors. Actually, I was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
disappointed about that until one of institution which supports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
immigrants
here, it taught me how to speak and how to communicate with other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Surprisingly
, I was able to complete my commitments
easily
and this was convenient for me and my family. If I
Possible spelling mistake found.
couldn&
#039; t learn English
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
, I
Possible spelling mistake found.
wouldn&
#039; t have flourished and be such a social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
. This experience taught me that we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
in a
Possible spelling mistake found.
countery
where we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in.

Second, speaking that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
will increase a chance for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and be a confident one. When an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
immigrant
arrive to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, he would to find a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, study, and without learning their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
, he will face
Possible agreement error. The noun problem seems to be countable; consider using: "many problems".
many problem
and he will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "frustrate"
frustrated
about that.
For instance
, three years ago, my friend came with her family The United
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
States and
she
Possible spelling mistake found.
didn&
#039; t understand the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
since she
Possible spelling mistake found.
arabian
and her
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
is
Possible spelling mistake found.
arabic
. She definitely
The pronoun 'She' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "confronts", "confronted".
confront
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
obstacles and
she
Possible spelling mistake found.
couldn&
#039; t find a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. Although, she is a pharmacist and her husband a computer programmer,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
Possible spelling mistake found.
didn&
#039; t find such a comfortable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. They worked as
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
cashier and
they
were disappointed
about that since they are professional
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
on their life that made it more
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
difficult and
they had no confidence. After one year, they taught the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
language and
they found
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
instead
which endorse them to be confident and devoted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
. As we
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
withourt
learning the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
, we will
be frustrated
and desperate.

By the way of conclusion, based on the arguments explored above, I
firmly
concur that we should adapt a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
and a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
culture to be a successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
in the world. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
advantages to learn that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
and it is worthwhile.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
43Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay Immigrants to a country should be forced to learn that country's language. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
486 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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