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Some people think governments should spend as much money as possible exploring outer space for example traveling to the Moon and to other planets Other people disagree and think governments should spend this money for our basic needs on Earth Which of the v.3

Some people think governments should spend as much money as possible exploring outer space for example traveling to the Moon and to other planets Other people disagree and think governments should spend this money for our basic needs on Earth Which of the v. 3
Governments have an important role in our lives. It is responsible of many things in the country such as education, defense, discoveries and even transportaion. It spends a lot of money for things that may be not essential for our existence such as exploring outer space. Some people would agree that governments should spend as much money as possible exploring other planets. Other would disagree. Even though we should understand and expand our knoweledge about outer space, I think it is better for governments to spend this money for our basic needs on Earth for several imperative reasons. First of all, governments should develop our health. As we see everyday, there are a lot of diseases new and many people died because infections, cancer, and other sicknesses which the government should pay attention about them since it may be epidemic to our sociaty. For example, when I was in pharmacy school, our professor in the pathology class explained that researchers should develop most of medicines to eradicat diseases in current days. In fact, he stated that the government should spend money and research to improve our life since many children is suffering from cancer and may be these diseases threaten our life and our health. I remember he was very upset because our government spent a lot of money to travel to the Moon and to observe about it and the professor was surprised because this travelling cost a billion dollars. When the professor was talking, he was frustrated and he said that these currency should spend to do research about cancer and to progress the study about them. This experience taught me that most of governments should think about kid' s future and take care of our health. Second, governments should prevent the contamination of our environment. Nowadays, there a lot of pollutants that affect our life and our existence. In addition, these pollutants have negative impact in our physical life. For instance, I read an article about the destruction of forests in our planet and how it has bad consequences, since it will decrease the oxygyn production and it may conrtibute to increase endangered animals. besides that, cars emit a poisonous gas that affect our health, it will hurt our lungs and the rate of the death may increase and it is really bad for us. Actually, the article claims that environment has a lot of danger things that the government should take care of it and take action of by increase technology and encourage people to reduce addition pollutants to the air and to the earth. The government should educate people and do some plans to protect our planet, so instead of exploring the space, the government should save us. As we can clearly see, the government should add money to our needs. By the way of conclusion, based on hte argument discussed above, I strongly concur that governments should spend money for our needs and not for exploring space. Our earth is worthwhile and precious for our dominance.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Governments
have an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. It is
The usual collocations for "responsible" is "responsible for". Did you mean "responsible for" or "in charge of"?
responsible of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things in the country such as education, defense, discoveries and even
Possible spelling mistake found.
transportaion
. It
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spends
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for things that may be not essential for our existence such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exploring
outer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
as much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
as possible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exploring
other planets. Other would disagree.
Even though
we should understand and expand our
Possible spelling mistake found.
knoweledge
about outer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is better for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for our basic needs on Earth for several imperative reasons.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should develop our health. As we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
, there are a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of diseases new and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
died
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
infections, cancer, and other sicknesses which the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should pay attention about them since it may be epidemic to our
Possible spelling mistake found.
sociaty
.
For example
, when I was in pharmacy school, our professor in the pathology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
that researchers should develop
After 'most of', you should use 'the' ("most of the medicines") or simply say "most medicines".
most of medicines
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
eradicat
diseases in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
days. In fact, he stated that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and research to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
since
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
children is suffering from cancer and may be these diseases threaten our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and our health. I remember he was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
upset
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
spent a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to travel to the Moon and to observe about it and the professor
was surprised
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this travelling cost a billion dollars. When the professor was talking, he was
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
frustrated and
he said that
Did you mean "this currency" or "these currencies"?
these currency
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
to do research about cancer and to progress the study about them. This experience taught me that most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about
Possible spelling mistake found.
kid&
#039; s future and take care of our health.

Second,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the contamination of our environment. Nowadays, there a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of pollutants that affect our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and our existence.
In addition
, these pollutants have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact in our physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
For instance
, I read an article about the destruction of forests in our planet and how it has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
consequences, since it will decrease the
Possible spelling mistake found.
oxygyn
production and it may
Possible spelling mistake found.
conrtibute
to increase endangered animals.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
besides
that, cars emit a poisonous gas that affect our health, it will hurt our lungs and the rate of the death may increase and it is
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
for us. Actually, the article claims that environment has a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
things that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should take care of it and take action of by increase technology and encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
addition pollutants to the air and to the earth. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should educate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
plans to protect our planet,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exploring
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should save us. As we can
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to our needs.

By the way of conclusion, based on
Possible spelling mistake found.
hte
argument discussed above, I
strongly
concur that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for our needs and not for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exploring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
. Our earth is worthwhile and precious for our dominance.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
48Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think governments should spend as much money as possible exploring outer space for example traveling to the Moon and to other planets Other people disagree and think governments should spend this money for our basic needs on Earth Which of the v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
502 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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