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What language do you speak? Is it common language in your country? Do you think it is difficult to learn a new language? Would you like to learn new language? v.1

What language do you speak? Is it common language in your country? Do you think it is difficult to learn a new language? Would you like to learn new language? v. 1
Usage of social media, mainly Facebook, Instagram have markedly changed which the boost of the internet. Although people believe that individual and society are positively impacted by these platforms to solve social and global issues. However, I completely disagree with this because its negative impact on adults and society cannot be ignored. To start with, I would discuss the impact on the individual safety and data security which is impacted by the social websites. For instance, many people shared their personal details on these platforms and main times this information is accessible to the outside world which in result led to data breaching. User data safety is vital in this internet advanced world. Todays, people share their travelling or outing information also on social media just to show off and many times they are affected by other user’s social status. Another problem which can be due to social networking site is wastage of time and effect on health. Youngsters spend their most of time on the laptop or the mobile phones, surfing through these websites and this can become an addiction to them. They take less interest in physical activities. Many times unverified information become viral on social sites. Users trust those details without authenticating news and they even start sharing with their family and friends. As a result, social networking sites hamper the work of individual and that too of society. In conclusion, although there is a good side of using Facebook, Twitter and other sites. I strongly agree that they have some negative sides too, which cannot be neglected. Users should realize this and learn proper usage of such platforms more wisely.
Usage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media,
mainly
Facebook, Instagram have
markedly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
which the boost of the internet. Although
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that individual and society are
positively
impacted by these platforms to solve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
and global issues.
However
, I completely disagree with this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on adults and society cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, I would discuss the impact on the individual safety and data security which
is impacted
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
websites.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
shared their personal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
on these platforms and main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
this information is accessible to the outside world which in result led to data breaching.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
User
data safety is vital in this internet advanced world.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Todays
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
share their travelling or outing information
also
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
off and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
user’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
status.

Another problem which can be due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
site
is wastage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and effect on health. Youngsters spend their most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on the laptop or the mobile phones, surfing through these websites and this can become an addiction to them. They take less interest in physical activities.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
unverified information become viral on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Users
trust those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
without authenticating
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
news and
they even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
sharing with their family and friends.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
hamper the work of individual and that too of society.

In conclusion
, although there is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
side of using Facebook, Twitter and other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
sides too, which cannot
be neglected
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Users
should realize this and learn proper usage of such platforms more
wisely
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay What language do you speak? Is it common language in your country? Do you think it is difficult to learn a new language? Would you like to learn new language? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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