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agree or disagree: Immigrants to a country should be forced to learn that country's language. v.2

agree or disagree: Immigrants to a country should be forced to learn that country's language. v. 2
Nowadays, most people following a better place to live, a decent job position, or the advanced technologies decide to immigrant to a country. In general, there are considered some requisitions for the candidates who want to immigrate to a new country. For example, some countries like Australia ask for ability or a special aptitude to let a foreigner goes to live there. One of the certain requirements in most cases is to learn the language. To my perspective it is essential that a strange learns how to talk in a new country, even though it might be an arduous work. In what follows, I delineate my justifications. First and foremost, language is a way to communicate with the society. No doubt, without knowing the native language, a foreigner can never serve a function in the new country, to which he or she immigrated. Suppose a person after residing in a new country wants to go outside to do something, while she has no knowledge about the language. There is no substance that there are numerous difficulties that she or he will encounter just for doing a small daily work, let alone working officially as a business. . No wonder, we can just convey some rare words by facial expressions in other shapes. Consequently, a person without learning language has a far way to be successful in a new community. Second, knowing language should be required and obligated because language is associated with the culture of people. Knowing language means to know about all things related to a community such as culture, custom, and belief. Most things differ from a culture to another culture and sometimes there areno any equal words in various languages. Dealing with different words, idioms, or even phrases, it is possible to get more the history, lifestyle, civilization, and the native generations. Last but not least, the requisition of learning language is a fair requisition especially for some advanced countries. Since, there are vast numbers of applicants for entering some countries, there should be a filter to choose the more intelligent and capable one. Correspondingly, knowing language is one of the best requisitions. By taking all above- mentioned arguments in consideration, I reiterate that there must be a requirement of knowledge language for an immigrant. Before or after the migration, an applicant should be forced to get a language certificate which will be beneficial for both the immigrant and the society where the stranger wants to live in.
Nowadays, most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
following a better place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
, a decent job position, or the advanced technologies decide to immigrant to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
In general
, there
are considered
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
requisitions for the candidates who want to immigrate to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
like Australia
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ask for
ability or a special aptitude to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
a foreigner goes to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
there. One of the certain requirements
in most cases
is to learn the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
. To my perspective it is essential that
Probably a noun is missing in this part of the sentence.
a strange
learns how to talk in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
,
even though
it might be an arduous work. In what follows, I delineate my justifications.

First
and foremost,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
is a way to communicate with the society. No doubt, without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowing
the native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
, a foreigner can never serve a function in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, to which he or she immigrated. Suppose a person after residing in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
wants to go outside to do something, while she has no knowledge about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
. There is no substance that there are numerous difficulties that she or he will encounter
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for doing a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
daily work,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
alone working
officially
as a business.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
No wonder, we can
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
convey
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
rare words by facial expressions in other shapes.
Consequently
, a person without learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
has a far way to be successful in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
community.

Second,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
should
be required
and obligated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
is associated
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Knowing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
means to know about all things related to a community such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
, custom, and belief. Most things differ from a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
there
Possible spelling mistake found.
areno
any equal words in various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
. Dealing with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
words, idioms, or even phrases, it is possible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more the history, lifestyle, civilization, and the native generations.

Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, the requisition of learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
requisition
especially
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. Since, there are vast numbers of applicants for entering
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, there should be a filter to choose the more intelligent and capable one.
Correspondingly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
is one of the best requisitions.

By taking all above- mentioned arguments in consideration, I reiterate that there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be a requirement of knowledge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
for an immigrant.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
or after the migration, an applicant should
be forced
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
certificate which will be beneficial for both the immigrant and the society where the stranger wants to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
34Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay agree or disagree: Immigrants to a country should be forced to learn that country's language. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
411 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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