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If you were asked to send one thing representing your country to an international exhibition, what would you choose? Why? Use specific reasons and details to explain your choice. v.2

If you were asked to send one thing representing your country to an international exhibition, what would you choose? Why? Use specific reasons and details to explain your choice. v. 2
It is observed that in a growing number of countries, people are being slept, less than the past due increased working hours in the atmosphere of rising inflation. This trend has several adverse implications for both individuals and society. The relevant factors are elaborated in the below essay with particular examples. To begin with, in the modern world, many countries experience skyrocketing prices of goods and services. As a consequence, people cannot rely on standard working hours to maintain their living standards, which inevitably compels them to work overtime sacrificing their sleeping time. For instance, according to a study that had been taken place in the UK, an average citizen of many developing countries, sleeps less than 8 hours per day because he/she works more than 10 hours a day. Furthermore, this tendency is not healthy enough over the well-being of individuals and well as the community. If people do not receive adequate sleep their body parts do not function properly in the next day and as a result their productivity falls significantly. To illustrate, as per a medical research conducted in the USA, people who do not rest their bodies with regular and quality sleep tend to produce inaccurate next day. To conclude, it is indisputable that people tend to allocate their sleeping time to earn more against the rising prices. This trend is alarming for both human health and for the nation as it will deteriorate the productivity of its nationals it should be eradicated with suitable precautions.
It
is observed
that in a growing number of countries,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
being slept
, less than the past due increased working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
in the atmosphere of rising inflation. This trend has several adverse implications for both individuals and society. The relevant factors
are elaborated
in the below essay with particular examples.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, in the modern world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries experience skyrocketing prices of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and services. As a consequence,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot rely on standard working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
to maintain their living standards, which
inevitably
compels them to work overtime sacrificing their sleeping time.
For instance
, according to a study that had
been taken
place in the UK, an average citizen of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
, sleeps less than 8
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
per day
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he/she works more than 10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
a day.

Furthermore
, this tendency is not healthy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
over the well-being of individuals and well as the community. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not receive adequate sleep their body parts do not function
properly
in the
next
day and
as a result
their productivity falls
significantly
. To illustrate, as per a medical research conducted in the USA,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who do not rest their bodies with regular and quality sleep tend to produce inaccurate
next
day.

To conclude
, it is indisputable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to allocate their sleeping time to earn more against the rising prices. This trend is alarming for both human health and for the nation as it will deteriorate the productivity of its nationals it should
be eradicated
with suitable precautions.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
To have another language is to possess a second soul.
Charlemagne

IELTS essay If you were asked to send one thing representing your country to an international exhibition, what would you choose? Why? Use specific reasons and details to explain your choice. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
250 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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