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If you were asked to send one thing representing your country to an international exhibition what would you choose Why Use specific reasons and details to explain your choice v.1

If you were asked to send one thing representing your country to an international exhibition what would you choose Why Use specific reasons and details to explain your choice v. 1
In the past decade, travelling has become increasingly popular all over the world. Some school of thought believes that, when an individual travels into the different culture they should habituate to local views and mannerisms. This essay will discuss why one should always follow the host culture for a better travel experience. Personally, I completely agree with this as this keeps sightseers safe while travelling in another country. Some individuals think that, one should always follow the rules of the host culture while on the trip because it shows the sign that they are respecting local customs and traditions. If they follow the same etiquette that locals wear, they respect you back enthusiastically. For example, this can be done by wearing a scarf which is covering one's head, especially in countries like Malaysia, Indonesia where they show respect to their god. Therefore, in order to have a better experience while on trip one should always respect and follow local mannerisms. While travelling to foreign countries or living abroad, one should always constrain their political views to themselves. If they try to impose their opinion on indigenous people, which their views differ from one another. In this scenario, one should be careful before they express their opinion. For example, if a sightseer from America praises their leaders in North Korea, things can escalate to a higher level where one can be fined or sentenced to life imprisonment. Thus, following local beliefs while on vacation is always an excellent idea. To conclude, some section of individual believes that when a person travels abroad, they should adapt to local traditions and theories in order to have a safe travel. Personally, I completely agree with this because it shows, not only how much we respect their practices, but also for memorable outcomes.
In the past decade, travelling has become
increasingly
popular all over the world.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
school of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
believes that, when an individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travels
into the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
culture they should habituate to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
views and mannerisms. This essay will discuss why one should always
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
the host culture for a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
experience.
Personally
, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this as this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
sightseers safe while travelling in another country.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that, one should always
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
of the host culture while on the trip
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sign
that they are respecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
customs and traditions. If they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
the same etiquette that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locals
wear, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
respect
you back
enthusiastically
.
For example
, this can
be done
by wearing a scarf which is covering one's head,
especially
in countries like Malaysia, Indonesia where they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
respect
to their god.
Therefore
, in order to have a better experience while on trip one should always
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
respect
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
mannerisms.

While travelling to foreign countries or living abroad, one should always constrain their political views to themselves. If they try to impose their opinion on indigenous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, which their views differ from one another. In this scenario, one should be careful
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they express their opinion.
For example
, if a sightseer from America praises their leaders in North Korea, things can escalate to a higher level where one can
be fined
or sentenced to life imprisonment.
Thus
, following
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
beliefs while on vacation is always an excellent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.

To conclude
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
section of individual believes that when a person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travels
abroad, they should adapt to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
traditions and theories in order to have a safe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
.
Personally
, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
how much we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
respect
their practices,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
for memorable outcomes.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay If you were asked to send one thing representing your country to an international exhibition what would you choose Why Use specific reasons and details to explain your choice v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
298 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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