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1. Which is your favourite place in your house2. What are the responsibilities of paresnts towards children3. How should the children be with parents4. What do you think about savings do you save v.1

1. Which is your favourite place in your house2. What are the responsibilities of paresnts towards children3. How should the children be with parents4. What do you think about savings do you save v. 1
There is no doubt that video games have always been popular among children. Many people argue that playing very violent games must be a cause for the rise in crime and violence in many cities across the world, and I would agree with that. In this essay, I am going to support my opinion with examples. First and foremost, playing violent games at a young age can result in behavioural problems. This is because the kid is in his learning phase and the brain is still developing, and this stage plays a critical role in the child's overall development. For example, the kid can pick up bad habits such as bullying and fighting and correcting them at a later stage can be difficult. Furthermore, these behavioural issues can worsen with time and can lead to the kid getting more involved in criminal activities. Secondly, the child can have problems socialising with others. The reason for this can be not feeling compassion for others and getting into fights. For instance, other kids may not want to speak with someone who always gets angry and fights with them. As a result, the child can feel lonely and get depressed, which can be problematic and poses the risk of a kid becoming more violent and committing crimes. To conclude, although playing video games can be a fun and relaxing activity, in my opinion, playing too much of violent games can cause serious problems among children as mentioned above and children should avoid playing them.
There is no doubt that video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
have always been popular among children.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be a cause for the rise in crime and violence in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cities across the world, and I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with that. In this essay, I am going to support my opinion with examples.

First
and foremost,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
at a young age can result in
Possible spelling mistake. 'behavioural' is British English.
behavioural
problems. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kid
is in his learning phase and the brain is
still
developing, and this stage plays a critical role in the child's
overall
development.
For example
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kid
can pick up
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
habits such as bullying and fighting and correcting them at a later stage can be difficult.
Furthermore
, these
Possible spelling mistake. 'behavioural' is British English.
behavioural
issues can worsen with time and can lead to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kid
getting more involved in criminal activities.

Secondly
, the child can have problems
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialising' is British English.
socialising
with others. The reason for this can be not feeling compassion for others and getting into fights.
For instance
, other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
may not want to speak with someone who always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
angry and fights with them.
As a result
, the child can feel lonely and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
depressed, which can be problematic and poses the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kid
becoming more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
and committing crimes.

To conclude
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
can be a fun and relaxing activity, in my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
too much of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
can cause serious problems among children as mentioned above and children should avoid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
them.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay 1. Which is your favourite place in your house2. What are the responsibilities of paresnts towards children3. How should the children be with parents4. What do you think about savings do you save v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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