Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

if you had to travel to a location 50 miles away, which mode of transportation would you prefer: automobile bicycle or train? v.1

if you had to travel to a location 50 miles away, which mode of transportation would you prefer: automobile bicycle or train? v. 1
At a very young age, children learn by imitating adults' behaviour or things around them. They are not yet able to distinguish between right and wrong. To help kids learn the differences, punishment is often thought to be an effective teaching method by some parents and teachers. However, it is also argued that this method would negatively affect children. In my opinion, punishment is a useful method of moral education as long as it does not badly affect children physically and mentally. To begin with, using corporal punishment would not help the children learn from their mistakes. In contrast, they can even have a negative impact on children physically and mentally. When parents hit their children, the children would feel hurt or even have scars. If this kind of punishment frequently repeats, the children would become insensitive, and this could destroy the bond with their parents. Another example is that, at school, some children are often forced to receive harsh punishment in front of the class for their mistakes, which is humiliating and has little educational value. Hence, parents and teachers should choose appropriate ways to teach good behaviour to children. Parents can opt for educational punishments such as giving them housework, setting a limit to their recreational time, or reducing their allowance to avoid wasting money for useless activities. Teachers, similarly, should not reinforce corporal punishment or humiliation, but alternatively should give discipline sanctions such as warnings, demerits, and academic probation to students who violate rules according to the seriousness of the situation. Effective disciplinary means like these could teach children to form better moral judgements without harming their mental and physical health. In conclusion, punishment is essential to educate children how to differentiate between good and bad things. However, physically and mentally harmful punishments have to be avoided. Constructive punishments are recommended instead.
At a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
young age,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
learn by imitating adults'
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
or things around them. They are not
yet
able to distinguish between right and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
kids learn the differences,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
to be an effective teaching method by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and teachers.
However
, it is
also
argued that this method would
negatively
affect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
is a useful method of moral education as long as it does not
badly
affect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
physically
and mentally.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, using corporal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
would not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
learn from their mistakes.
In contrast
, they can even have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
physically
and mentally. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
hit their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
would feel hurt or even have scars. If this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
frequently
repeats, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
would become insensitive, and this could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
the bond with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. Another example is that, at school,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
forced to receive harsh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
in front of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
for their mistakes, which is humiliating and has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
educational value.

Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and teachers should choose appropriate ways to teach
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
can opt for educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
such as giving them housework, setting a limit to their recreational time, or reducing their allowance to avoid wasting money for useless activities. Teachers,
similarly
, should not reinforce corporal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
or humiliation,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
alternatively
should give discipline sanctions such as warnings, demerits, and academic probation to students who violate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
according to the seriousness of the situation. Effective disciplinary means like these could teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to form better moral judgements without harming their mental and physical health.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
is essential to educate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
how to differentiate between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
things.
However
,
physically
and mentally harmful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be avoided
. Constructive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
are recommended
instead
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay if you had to travel to a location 50 miles away, which mode of transportation would you prefer: automobile bicycle or train? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts