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Which one of the following forms of transportation do you consider to be most enjoyable? bicycle, automobile, train. Explain why you enjoy it. v.1

Which one of the following forms of transportation do you consider to be most enjoyable? bicycle, automobile, train. Explain why you enjoy it. v. 1
Most pressing problems in the world nowadays is environmental damage. When it comes to tackle the problems, people think that government should increase the price of fuel, however, this is not the only solution to solve the problem. This essay will take a closer look at the side view. First of all, the increase in fuel cost directly discourages the utilization of private vehicles and promote the popularity in public transportations, so the released emission into the air is lessened, and it impedes the process of air pollution and global warming. For example, if gasoline is more expensive, people will tend to use the bus or train rather than their personal cars. Besides, it is able to improve the efficiency of house appliances such as air conditioning, heating, cooking and so on to lead the greener life, meanwhile the government could pass laws to limit the emission from manufacturing operations by using renewable energy from solar, wind and water power. The cost of fuel is proportionate to higher production, which depends on machines generated by fossil fuel. For the inhabitants, especially ones living in poor countries may struggle with higher living conditions. I believe that the government play a paramount role in investing more in alternative energy for sustainable growth, and the most effective solution is to educate people for everyday awareness of our energy use and the carbon dioxide emissions. Taking everything into consideration, increasing the tax on fuel cost is a short-term solution to address the environmental problems.
Most pressing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
in the world nowadays is environmental damage. When it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to tackle the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should increase the price of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
,
however
, this is not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
solution to solve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
. This essay will take a closer look at the side view.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
cost
directly
discourages the utilization of private vehicles and promote the popularity in public transportations,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the released emission into the air
is lessened
, and it impedes the process of air pollution and global warming.
For example
, if gasoline is more expensive,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the bus or train
rather
than their personal cars.
Besides
, it is able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the efficiency of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
appliances such as air conditioning, heating, cooking and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on to lead the greener life, meanwhile the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
could pass laws to limit the emission from manufacturing operations by using renewable energy from solar, wind and water power.

The cost of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
is proportionate to higher production, which depends on machines generated by fossil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
. For the inhabitants,
especially
Did you mean "one's"?
ones
living in poor countries may struggle with higher living conditions. I believe that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
play a paramount role in investing more in alternative energy for sustainable growth, and the most effective solution is to educate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
for everyday awareness of our energy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
and the carbon dioxide emissions.

Taking everything into consideration, increasing the tax on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
cost is a short-term solution to address the environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
It is astonishing how much enjoyment one can get out of a language that one understands imperfectly.
Basil Lanneau Gildersleeve

IELTS essay Which one of the following forms of transportation do you consider to be most enjoyable? bicycle, automobile, train. Explain why you enjoy it. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
250 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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