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ome parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.1

ome parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1
Few individuals are on view that supporting the youth to have their own preference regarding personal things can probably create a community that place a high regard on themselves, while others are convinced that it is imperative that children should be involved in decision making especially if it will impact their lives. Both sides of this argument will be placed under careful scrutiny in this essay. In my opinion, I strongly acknowledge the point that allows independence in children which will help them to grow as responsible citizens. To begin with, a portion of the population believes that unsupervised freedom can lead to a negative attitude. It is common knowledge that the young ones are generally vulnerable individuals, so a selfish character is likely be developed if they will follow a mindset that everything is just about them. For instance, in terms of food preference, if a child is raised in an environment where parents will give in to the request of their offspring, then that practice will result to an unpleasant outlook in life. On the other hand, it is imperative that children should be allowed to follow their own instincts. That way, they will be able to explore their emotions or eventually be an asset to the society. Like in the case of a child who was brought up in a household that allows balance in many aspects of life that allows the child to clothe in style, but insisting control on matters that they do not fully understand. In that sense, I support the view of this part of the population that implementing some form of freedom is necessary. To summarize, I certainly acknowledge that it is advantageous for the young generation to be given the leniency on things that influence their personal development because it will help them to mature as dependable individuals.
Few individuals are on view that supporting the youth to have their
own
preference regarding personal things can
probably
create a community that place a high regard on themselves, while others
are convinced
that it is imperative that children should
be involved
in
decision making
especially
if it will impact their
lives
. Both sides of this argument will
be placed
under careful scrutiny in this essay. In my opinion, I
strongly
acknowledge the point that
allows
independence in children which will
help
them to grow as responsible citizens.

To
begin
with, a portion of the population believes that unsupervised freedom can lead to a
negative
attitude. It is common knowledge that the young ones are
generally
vulnerable individuals,
so
a selfish character is likely
be developed
if they will follow a mindset that everything is
just
about them.
For instance
, in terms of food preference, if a child
is raised
in an environment where parents will give in to the request of their offspring, then that practice will result to an unpleasant outlook in life.

On the other hand
, it is imperative that children should be
allowed
to follow their
own
instincts. That way, they will be able to explore their emotions or
eventually
be an asset to the society. Like in the case of a child who
was brought
up in a household that
allows
balance in
many
aspects of life that
allows
the child to clothe in style,
but
insisting control on matters that they do not
fully
understand. In that sense, I support the view of this part of the population that implementing
some
form of freedom is necessary.

To summarize
, I
certainly
acknowledge that it is advantageous for the young generation to be
given
the leniency on things that influence their personal development
because
it will
help
them to mature as dependable individuals.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay ome parents offer their school-age children money for each high grade (mark) they get in school. Do you think this is a good idea? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
307 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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