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If you had the opportunity to travel to the moon, would you choose to go and why? Please use examples and reasons to support your answer. v.1

If you had the opportunity to travel to the moon, would you choose to go and why? Please use examples and reasons to support your answer. v. 1
All living organisms are impacted by environmental problems. It is often argued that authorities should take responsibility to reduce environmental issues while some believe that it should be combined efforts by both the individuals and the government. I completely promote the idea that we should protect the atmosphere with the support of the authorities. The essay will elaborate on the environmental problems with the measures to be taken by the citizens and the ruling party. The first and the major reason behind environmental degradation is overpopulation as well as not using natural resources wisely. Increase in population has led to several consequences like more consumption of food, land as well as other resources that impact both the people and the environment. Additionally, people create more pollution, which affects soil, water, and air. Thus, these cannot be only controlled by the governmental policies, human should protect the ecosystem. Other major concerns are emission of pollution, deforestation, climate change which can be minimized by raising awareness among people. Conservation of the ecosystem can be adapted by reusing the resource as well as creating renewable energy like solar energy. People should reduce the use of fossil fuels because they discharge harmful gases which affect climate causing greenhouse effects and global warming. Considering such issues people should come forward to support the government rules and regulation to preserve natural habitat. To conclude, I my opinion, the erosion of soil, water, land, and other resources can be optimized by the collaboration of citizens along with governments. The government should acknowledge alarming causes and provide regulation to flourish the habitats.
All living organisms
are impacted
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
problems. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that authorities should take responsibility to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
issues while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe that it should
be combined
efforts by both the individuals and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
. I completely promote the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that we should protect the atmosphere with the support of the authorities. The essay will elaborate on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
problems with the measures to
be taken
by the citizens and the ruling party.

The
first
and the major reason behind
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
degradation is overpopulation
as well
as not using natural resources
wisely
. Increase in population has led to several
The usual preposition to use after "consequences" is not "like". Did you mean "consequences of", "consequences for", or "consequences on"?
consequences like
more consumption of food, land
as well
as other resources that impact both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and the environment.
Additionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
create more pollution, which affects soil, water, and air.
Thus
, these cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
controlled by the governmental policies, human should protect the ecosystem.

Other major concerns are emission of pollution, deforestation, climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
which can
be minimized
by raising awareness among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Conservation of the ecosystem can
be adapted
by reusing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
resource
as well
as creating renewable energy like solar energy.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of fossil fuels
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they discharge harmful gases which affect climate causing greenhouse effects and global warming. Considering such issues
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
forward to support the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulation to preserve natural habitat.

To conclude
, I my opinion, the erosion of soil, water, land, and other resources can
be optimized
by the collaboration of citizens along with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should acknowledge alarming causes and provide regulation to flourish the habitats.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
A special kind of beauty exists which is born in language, of language, and for language.
Gaston Bachelard

IELTS essay If you had the opportunity to travel to the moon, would you choose to go and why? Please use examples and reasons to support your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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