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Talk about a country that you would choose for travel if you had a chance to go anywhere. Please say- What country would it be? - How long would you be staying there? - What time of the year would you go there? v.1

Talk about a country that you would choose for travel if you had a chance to go anywhere. Please say- What country would it be? - How long would you be staying there? - What time of the year would you go there? v. 1
Some employees believe in working for the same company their entire working life, whereas others believe in working for different organisations. In my view, it is better to work for the same employer as far as they respect the individual's talent and provide them with better opportunities. In this essay, we are going to shed light on both these views. On one hand working for the same employer increases the visibility to the management. This can help increase the number of opportunities provided as the management is already aware of the skills that the employee possesses. For instance, in case of a critical requirement they might give importance to someone who they already know and had experience working with rather than to someone who had just joined the organisation. Also, Individuals can avail the benefits provided by the organisations only for their long term employees. For example, Certain companies provide health and retirement benefits only to those who have served them until retirement. On the other hand, the increase in the pay scale might be less when compared to the hike that someone may get on moving to a different employer. Coming to working for different employers provides the benefit of exponential increase in the pay and also fetch the individual his desired position. For instance, employers are always looking for individual who is skilled in a particular field and might be willing to shell out large amounts to acquire the candidates meeting their criteria. However, Shifting to a different company may not provide the same level of recognition within the management in comparison to that provided by working for the same employer. In conclusion, in accordance with the above mentioned points the benefits of working for the same company outweighs that of switching companies. However, If the organisation is not able to provide the desired opportunities to the employee it is better to move on.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
believe in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
for the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
their entire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
life, whereas others believe in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
. In my view, it is better to work for the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employer
as far as they respect the individual's talent and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
them with better opportunities. In this essay, we are going to shed light on both these views.

On one hand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
for the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increases
the visibility to the management. This can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
the number of opportunities provided as the management is already aware of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
possesses.
For instance
, in case of a critical requirement they might give importance to someone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
they already know and had experience
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
with
rather
than to someone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
the
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
.
Also
, Individuals can avail the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
provided by the
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for their long term
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
.
For example
, Certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
health and retirement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have served them until retirement.
On the other hand
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
in the pay scale might be less when compared to the hike that someone may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
on moving to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
employer.

Coming to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provides
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefit
of exponential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
in the pay and
also
fetch the individual his desired position.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employers
are always looking for individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
is skilled
in a particular field and might be willing to shell out large amounts to acquire the candidates meeting their criteria.
However
, Shifting to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
may not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
the same level of recognition within the management
in comparison
to that provided by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
for the same employer.

In conclusion
, in accordance with the above mentioned points the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
for the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
outweighs that of switching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
.
However
, If the
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
is not able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
the desired opportunities to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
it is better to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
on.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Talk about a country that you would choose for travel if you had a chance to go anywhere. Please say- What country would it be? - How long would you be staying there? - What time of the year would you go there? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
316 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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