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TPO 34 #1Your university plans to open a café inside the campus library. Do you think this is a good idea? Explain why or why not. v.1

TPO 34 #1Your university plans to open a café inside the campus library. Do you think this is a good idea? Explain why or why not. v. 1
Over the last few years, curfews have been quite common in major cities across the globe. Few cities in the United States where the curfew is imposed, Juveniles are not permitted to go out after a certain time at nights without being accompanied by majors. In my opinion, it is justified because the motto of this activity is to protect teenagers at all times. Keeping teenagers confined to home during the curfew period can protect teenagers from being involved in crimes. Ex-criminals attract youngsters to commit the crime and other activities which might be considered as unsafe for them. For instance, an article published in the New York times revealed that the crime rate by adults increased significantly in few dangerous areas and this is because, the teens are not mature enough to understand the consequences. Additionally, this might ruin the career of intelligent and bright students. As a result, this might lead more young people to commit drug dealing for the urge to make money However, the youngsters accompanied by adolescents can be considered as a safe activity as it might not be easy for rapists to approach them. This can reduce the chance of sexual attacks on minors. For example, in the U. S and many developing countries, it is reported that sexual attacks on young girls decreased significantly in 2018 as the majority of the parents accompanied the kids during the late nights. In conclusion, although this curfew might be put additional burden on the police department, these limitations are necessary as this can prevent the boys and girls from any unsafe activities and behaviour.
Over the last few years,
curfews
have been quite common in major cities across the globe.

Few cities in the United States where the
curfew
is imposed
, Juveniles are not permitted to go out after a certain time at nights without
being accompanied
by majors. In my opinion, it
is justified
because
the motto of this
activity
is to protect
teenagers
at all times.

Keeping
teenagers
confined to home during the
curfew
period can protect
teenagers
from
being involved
in crimes. Ex-criminals attract youngsters to commit the crime and other
activities
which
might
be considered
as unsafe for them.
For instance
, an article published in the
New York times
revealed that the crime rate by adults increased
significantly
in few
dangerous
areas and this is
because
, the teens are not mature
enough
to understand the consequences.
Additionally
, this
might
ruin the career of intelligent and bright students.
As a result
, this
might
lead more young
people
to commit drug dealing for the urge to
make
money


However
, the youngsters accompanied by adolescents can
be considered
as a safe
activity
as it
might
not be easy for rapists to approach them. This can
reduce
the chance of sexual attacks on minors.
For example
, in the U. S and
many
developing countries
, it
is reported
that sexual attacks on young girls decreased
significantly
in 2018 as the majority of the parents accompanied the kids during the late nights.

In conclusion
, although this
curfew
might
be put
additional burden on the police department, these limitations are necessary as this can
prevent
the boys and girls from any unsafe
activities
and
behaviour
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO 34 #1Your university plans to open a café inside the campus library. Do you think this is a good idea? Explain why or why not. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
268 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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