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if you don’t make sure that other people (especially influential people or your employer) know about your strengths and accomplishments, you will never get successful in life. v.1

if you don’t make sure that other people (especially influential people or your employer) know about your strengths and accomplishments, you will never get successful in life. v. 1
Nowadays, people learn countless skills in schools or in universities in order to become prepared for their future job. However, some people have problems showing what they are able to do. They might think that introducing them as an ostentatious person is not necessary, or it may change others’ attitude towards them by. I personally believe that if someone is not able to show his abilities, he cannot be successful in life. In what follows, I will try to pinpoint the most outstanding reasons. First, one should bear in mind that in today’s world, it is so easy for employers to find a person with a required skill. So someone in a job can easily be replaced by someone else provided that he doesn’t distinguish himself properly. To illustrate this, suppose an employee working for a big company who has numerous skills related to his tasks, but he is not able to use them in practice. Such companies are always bombarded with lots of job requests by other unemployed persons. So it’s obvious that his boss will soon decide to substitute him with the one who he thinks is better whenever he feels the current employee doesn’t do well in his tasks. Secondly, being sure that others are aware of one’s talents and strengths, has a great impact on his self-confidence. Knowing the fact that others believe a person’s abilities and observing their praises can induce him to think that he can do well in his job. one can also be encouraged to improve his skills in order to attract more attentions from his boss for instance. So this can undoubtedly enhance the quality of his work as well as increasing his self-esteem. Finally, someone, who can show the abilities he has, obtains the opportunity to be offered more jobs. So it provides a variety of choices which lead to a favorable choice and thus a successful future. A relevant study recently conducted in my country reveals that getting successful in a job, has a direct relation with the amount of satisfaction that the person derives from the job. To sum up, the aforementioned reasons lead us to this conclusion that no matter how much a person is dexterous in a task, if he cannot show those abilities, he cannot be successful in future. Considering this fact, I strongly suggest that some basic instructions relevant to this issue be taught in schools in addition to required skills. This will undoubtedly help the next generation overcome this issue. In addition, it might be worthy for people having this problem to attend special classes in which a psychologist tries to help them overwhelm the mentioned problem.
Nowadays,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
learn countless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
in schools or in universities in order to become prepared for their future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have problems showing what they are able to do. They might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that introducing them as an ostentatious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
is not necessary, or it may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
others’ attitude towards them by. I
personally
believe that if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
someone
is not able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abilities
, he cannot be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
in life. In what follows, I will try to pinpoint the most outstanding reasons.

First
, one should bear in mind that in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
easy for employers to find a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
with a required
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
someone
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
can
easily
be replaced
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
someone
else provided that he doesn’t distinguish himself
properly
. To illustrate this, suppose an employee working for a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
who has numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
related to his tasks,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
he is not able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them in practice. Such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are always bombarded with lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
requests by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
unemployed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it’s obvious that his boss will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
decide to substitute him with the one who he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
is better whenever he feels the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
employee doesn’t do well in his tasks.

Secondly
, being sure that others are aware of one’s talents and strengths, has a great impact on his self-confidence. Knowing the fact that others believe a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abilities
and observing their praises can induce him to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that he can do well in his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
one
can
also
be encouraged
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
in order to attract more attentions from his boss
for instance
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
this can
undoubtedly
enhance the quality of his work
as well
as increasing his self-esteem.

Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
someone
, who can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abilities
he has, obtains the opportunity to
be offered
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it provides a variety of choices which lead to a favorable choice and
thus
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
future. A relevant study recently conducted in my country reveals that getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, has a direct relation with the amount of satisfaction that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
derives from the job.

To sum up, the aforementioned reasons lead us to this conclusion that no matter how much a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
is dexterous in a task, if he cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abilities
, he cannot be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
. Considering this fact, I
strongly
suggest that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
basic instructions relevant to this issue
be taught
in schools
in addition
to required
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. This will
undoubtedly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
next
generation overcome this issue.
In addition
, it might be worthy for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
having this problem to attend special classes in which a psychologist tries to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them overwhelm the mentioned problem.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay if you don’t make sure that other people (especially influential people or your employer) know about your strengths and accomplishments, you will never get successful in life. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
444 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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