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In aperson's life, he \she has had many influential people such as a mothe, a father, a sibling, a close relative. Describe an important person in your life. Be sure to use details and examples to support your ideas. v.1

In aperson's life, he \she has had many influential people such as a mothe, a father, a sibling, a close relative. Describe an important person in your life. Be sure to use details and examples to support your ideas. v. 1
Art is the form of expression and reflects the individual's skills and the heritage of the country. I somewhat agree, that government should invest in the arts sectors, but up to an extent. Although, lending money in the public sector should be the first and foremost priority of the administration. To begin with, in any territory public sector is always the most important priority of the ruling party. Firstly, they should allocate a big portion of their annual budgets for the betterment of public services. Such as, ministry should build hospitals and schools for the general population as well as, the ruling political party should put money into defence of the country to protect the population from terror attacks and wars. For example, a country can run without music and entertainment, but it is impossible to run a country without education and healthy population. On the other hand, art represents the heritage and culture of the country. To add to this, music and art festivals attract local people and tourist easily which generate income for the artists and the event organizers. And, somewhat it contributes to the economy of the country as well. Primarily, theatre is the best way to entertain and relax yourself no matter in which part of the world you are. For instance, millions of people watch movies everyday as a leisure activity to get rid of the work stress. So, the ministry must invest some portion of the budget in the arts section as well. To sum up, whereas, arts sector is important to entertain and attract tourists and people. As well as, public services are the utmost preference of the government of any rustic.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Art
is the form of expression and reflects the individual's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and the heritage of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. I somewhat
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
, that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should invest in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
up to an extent. Although, lending money in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
should be the
first
and foremost priority of the administration.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, in any territory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
is always the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
priority of the ruling party.
Firstly
, they should allocate a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
portion of their annual budgets for the betterment of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
services. Such as, ministry should build hospitals and schools for the general population
as well
as, the ruling political party should put money into
Possible spelling mistake. 'defence' is British English.
defence
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to protect the population from terror attacks and wars.
For example
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
can run without music and entertainment,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is impossible to run a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
without education and healthy population.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
represents the heritage and culture of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
to this, music and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
festivals attract local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and tourist
easily
which generate income for the artists and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
organizers. And, somewhat it contributes to the economy of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
as well
.
Primarily
,
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
is the best way to entertain and relax yourself no matter in which part of the world you are.
For instance
, millions of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
movies
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
as a leisure activity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
rid of the work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the ministry
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
invest
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
portion of the budget in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
section
as well
.

To sum up, whereas,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to entertain and attract tourists and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
As well
as,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
services are the utmost preference of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
of any rustic.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay In aperson's life, he \she has had many influential people such as a mothe, a father, a sibling, a close relative. Describe an important person in your life. Be sure to use details and examples to support your ideas. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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