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Films were produced by big companies in the past but today people are able to make a film Do you think this trend is positive or negative v.2

Films were produced by big companies in the past but today people are able to make a film Do you think this trend is positive or negative v. 2
Thanks to the ever-increasing development of technology, not just giant companies can produce films, individuals can do too. Although many people think that the trend can bring many negative impacts on a wide variety of social aspects, personally I think there are many benefits in this case. On the one hand, if more people are film producers, certain watchers, especially children can be affected adversely by the harmful content of these films. The reason is that the more private people produce films, the more difficult authorities can censor the content of films. For example, nowadays a great deal of individual are usually posting violent videos on children’s websites, thus effecting adversely on children’s development and can develop a violent personality in kids. Besides, the lack of controlling films can bring political disorders. In fact, a number of terrorist take advantage and spread videos having violent and anti-government contents which could threaten the stability of social security. On the other hand, I think the trend that more individuals take part in manufacturing films can benefit both private producers and watchers. Firstly, people can earn a large amount of money from making films. For instance, well-known youtubers have become rich when they posted a lot of interesting videos. Another benefit is that watchers can enjoy more abundant and realistic videos. Many overseas travelers film their experience and their feelings of culture and cuisine in other countries all over the world. As a result, watchers could gain more reliable information of other nations. In conclusion, while other people think that personal filmmaking can have negative consequences, I argue that there are a lot of benefits from this trend.
Thanks to the ever-increasing development of technology, not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
giant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
can produce films, individuals can do too. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that the trend can bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts on a wide variety of social aspects,
personally
I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
in this case
.

On the one hand, if more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are film producers, certain watchers,
especially
children can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
adversely
by the harmful content of these films. The reason is that the more private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
produce films, the more difficult authorities can censor the content of films.
For example
, nowadays a great deal of individual are
usually
posting violent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
videos
on children’s websites,
thus
effecting
adversely
on children’s development and can develop a violent personality in kids.
Besides
, the lack of controlling films can bring political disorders. In fact, a number of terrorist take advantage and spread
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
videos
having violent and anti-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
contents which could threaten the stability of social security.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
the trend that more individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in manufacturing films can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefit
both private producers and watchers.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can earn a large amount of money from making films.
For instance
, well-known
Possible spelling mistake found.
youtubers
have become rich when they posted
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
interesting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
videos
. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefit
is that watchers can enjoy more abundant and realistic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
videos
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
overseas travelers film their experience and their feelings of culture and cuisine in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
countries all over the world.
As a result
, watchers could gain more reliable information of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
nations.

In conclusion
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that personal filmmaking can have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences, I argue that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
from this trend.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
To have another language is to possess a second soul.
Charlemagne

IELTS essay Films were produced by big companies in the past but today people are able to make a film Do you think this trend is positive or negative v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
275 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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