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If we want to save the future of the planet, we will have to drastically change our way of life. What is your opinion? v.4

If we want to save the future of the planet, we will have to drastically change our way of life. What is your opinion? v. 4
There is a controversial issue about the importance of protecting the Earth. Some ecologists state that people should alter their attitude to the environment. However, some politicians argue that it is not necessary. In this essay, I will discuss both points of view and agree with the idea of that these serious changes are inevitable. Let us start with reasons why some ecologists claim that people ought to bring changes into their way of life in order to keep the planet healthy. The first reason is that it will help them pass unique ecosystem to the upcoming generations. People usually exploit natural resources unwisely, because they strive for large profits, but unless they stop this careless exploitation, their grandchildren will have no wildlife to enjoy. Another factor is that it will negatively affect mankind. Any damage to biodiversity on the Earth will also have detrimental effect on human wellbeing, since they are also dependent part of it. Therefore, it is clear that people should modify their style of life to preserve the planet. Nevertheless, some politicians advocate that people should not alter their lifestyle. They justify their opinion with the following arguments. Firstly, nature stabilizes itself. The environment is capable to absorb any harmful outcome of human activity on its own, so that human beings should use the wealth of nature at the the same pace. Secondly, the development of humanity would slow down. Technological progress would decelerate heavily, if they decide to protect the Earth for future, which needs the creation of new ideas as well as innovations. As a result, after analyzing, it is obvious that people should not stop the planetary exploitation. In conclusion, although some politicians propagate that humanity should utilize natural resources without any improvements, I think that it is essential for people to transform their way of life in order to save the world.
There is a controversial issue about the importance of protecting the Earth.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
ecologists state that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should alter their attitude to the environment.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
politicians argue that it is not necessary. In this essay, I will discuss both points of view and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of that these serious
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
are inevitable.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
us
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with reasons why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
ecologists claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
ought to bring
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
into their way of life in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the planet healthy. The
first
reason is that it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them pass unique ecosystem to the upcoming generations.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
usually
exploit natural resources
unwisely
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they strive for large profits,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
unless they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
this careless exploitation, their grandchildren will have no wildlife to enjoy. Another factor is that it will
negatively
affect mankind. Any damage to biodiversity on the Earth will
also
have detrimental effect on human
Possible spelling mistake found.
wellbeing
, since they are
also
dependent part of it.
Therefore
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should modify their style of life to preserve the planet.

Nevertheless
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
politicians advocate that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should not alter their lifestyle. They justify their opinion with the following arguments.
Firstly
, nature stabilizes itself. The environment is capable to absorb any harmful outcome of human activity on its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that human beings should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the wealth of nature at
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "the" or "the" is left.
the the
same pace.
Secondly
, the development of humanity would slow down. Technological progress would decelerate
heavily
, if they decide to protect the Earth for future, which needs the creation of new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
as well
as innovations.
As a result
, after analyzing, it is obvious that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
the planetary exploitation.

In conclusion
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
politicians propagate that humanity should utilize natural resources without any improvements, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is essential for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to transform their way of life in order to save the world.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay If we want to save the future of the planet, we will have to drastically change our way of life. What is your opinion? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
310 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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