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If we want to save the future of the planet, we will have to drastically change our way of life v.1

If we want to save the future of the planet, we will have to drastically change our way of life v. 1
These days, every time you turn on the television or flick through the pages of a newspaper, you will witness there is a significant increase in the amount of environmental issue which is posing a serious threat to the earth. It is believed that human partly responsible for these problems. Nonetheless, we also can preserve the planet if we know how to change our lifestyle in most effective measures. I completely agree with this idea and in this essay I will support my view with examples. Firstly, the environment of planet has been devastated seriously. It may originate in result of small harm activities such as using plastic bags or releasing CO2 which mainly cause global warming. In fact, many people do not care about the greenhouse effect, they believe that nothing will happen if they turn air conditioner which releasing a large amount of CO2. We can use electric fan rather than using air conditioner, choose recycle products. Personally, I think we should raise public awareness in order to protect the earth from waste. Another reason why I support this opinion is that we can use renewable energy from solar, wind or water power so as to limit emissions from factories and individuals. Green resource will decrease the air pollution from fossil energy such as petroleum, coal and natural gas. In addition, green trees can absorb kinds of air pollution. So, government should encourage people plant more trees to reduce air pollution. To sum up, although there is no doubt that our environment may reflect our behavior, we need to raise public awareness, take place of the fossil energy and grow more trees. I believe small activities could be implemented to save the earth. @ mailnaycuachi
These days, every time you turn on the television or flick through the pages of a newspaper, you will witness there is a significant increase in the amount of environmental issue which is posing a serious threat to the earth. It
is believed
that human partly responsible for these problems. Nonetheless, we
also
can preserve the planet if we know how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
our lifestyle in most effective measures. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
and in this essay I will support my view with examples.

Firstly
, the environment of planet has
been devastated
seriously
. It may originate in result of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
harm activities such as using plastic bags or releasing CO2 which
mainly
cause global warming. In fact,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not care about the greenhouse effect, they believe that nothing will happen if they turn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
conditioner which releasing a large amount of CO2. We can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
electric fan
rather
than using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
conditioner, choose recycle products.
Personally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
we should raise public awareness in order to protect the earth from waste.

Another reason why I support this opinion is that we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
renewable energy from solar, wind or water power
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
limit emissions from factories and individuals. Green resource will decrease the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
pollution from fossil energy such as petroleum, coal and natural gas.
In addition
, green trees can absorb kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
pollution.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should encourage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
plant more trees to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
pollution.

To sum up, although there is no doubt that our environment may reflect our behavior, we need to raise public awareness, take place of the fossil energy and grow more trees. I believe
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
activities could
be implemented
to save the earth. @
Possible spelling mistake found.
mailnaycuachi
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS essay If we want to save the future of the planet, we will have to drastically change our way of life v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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