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It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to be come a good sports person or musician. Discuss both views and give own opinion. v.9

It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to be come a good sports person or musician. v. 9
Every person in the world has special and different skills. Some people seem to possess amazing prowess right from their birth. However, others claim that children could be taught to make a better sports person or a musician. This essay will highlight both points of view and express an opinion at the end. The abilities that some people posses may be attributed to genetics. The talents which people show, especially, in the field of sports and music is inherited. For instance, if parents have excellent skills in games or songs, automatically, some juvenile is superior in athletes and singing songs. This is because they see their parents doing physical activities or musician right from birth. Hence, it is formed in their brain. Similarly, there are a number of youngsters who choose the same profession as their parents do such as doctor child might be doctor, actors, juvenile might be celebrities, musician baby might be captivated at singing and sportsman child could be athletes. Therefore, a plethora of the famous musicians and athletes have shown remarkable progress and achievements since an early age. On the other hand, it is often argued that determination, hard works, passion, better training and preparation also necessary to acquire knowledge in various fields such as sports or music. Although, if a person has information on particular topics, they do not get success while they are not captivated in this. Moreover, modern behavioural science and research can analyse the criteria that lead to success. To illustrate this, the Australian national swimming team has achieved excellent results by the implementation of scientific evidence to motivate and train swimmers. To conclude this, both arguments have their merits. Therefore, l tends to believe that both an innate talent and training are the best combination to achieve admirable results.
Every person in the world has special and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
seem to possess amazing prowess right from their birth.
However
, others claim that children could
be taught
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a better sports person or a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
musician
. This essay will highlight both points of view and express an opinion at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
.

The abilities that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
posses may
be attributed
to genetics. The talents which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
,
especially
, in the field of sports and music
is inherited
.
For instance
, if parents have excellent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in games or songs,
automatically
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
juvenile is superior in athletes and singing songs. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
their parents doing physical activities or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
musician
right from birth.
Hence
, it
is formed
in their brain.
Similarly
, there are a number of youngsters who choose the same profession as their parents do such as doctor child might be doctor, actors, juvenile might be celebrities,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
musician
baby might
be captivated
at singing and sportsman child could be athletes.
Therefore
, a plethora of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
musicians
and athletes have shown remarkable progress and achievements since an early age.

On the other hand
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that determination,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
works, passion, better training and preparation
also
necessary to acquire knowledge in various fields such as sports or music. Although, if a person has information on particular topics, they do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
success while they are not captivated in this.
Moreover
, modern
Possible spelling mistake. 'behavioural' is British English.
behavioural
science and research can
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
the criteria that lead to success. To illustrate this, the Australian national swimming team has achieved excellent results by the implementation of scientific evidence to motivate and train swimmers.

To conclude
this, both arguments have their merits.
Therefore
, l tends to believe that both an innate talent and training are the best combination to achieve admirable results.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to be come a good sports person or musician. v. 9

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
298 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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