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If a product is sold and people buy it, then advertising is not necessary and can be considered a kind of entertainment. Do you agree or disagree with this? v.2

If a product is sold and people buy it, then advertising is not necessary and can be considered a kind of entertainment. with this? v. 2
Advertisement industry has been growing rapidly lately, especially since we have entered the social media era. So many entrepreneurs introduce their products and innovations by advertising through social media. However, some people believe that advertising is not useful if a product can be sold easily. There is also a notion that if this case happened, advertising will be lost its main function and can only be seen as an entertaining source. In this essay, I shall explain some functions of advertising itself and provide some arguments why I disagree with the statement above. To begin with, advertising has several functions, for instance introducing products to the market, creating brand image, and increasing sales. There are several products that are not necessary to be advertised because they only reach niche market, namely Rolex, brand of a luxury watch. However, in general terms, advertising a product can give some beneficial impacts as mentioned before. Furthermore, we have to be clear the market segment and the market size that we want to reach for a product. If we only think about short-term sales and profit, then advertising is clearly unnecessary. For example, selling a homemade cake to our classmates. It can be easily sold, but it is not scalable and sustainable. However, if we want to sell skin care products, we have to gain customers’ trust even just to try the product samples. We have to build the brand image that the skin care products that we are sold are safe. Once we have gained customers trust and successfully built the desirable brand image, the product selling will be increasing year by year, and this process can be enhanced by endorsing some famous actress to use the skin care products. To conclude, I personally disagree with the opinion that advertising is unnecessary and only a kind of entertainment. I believe there are some benefits of advertising a product if we set a long-term and sustainable goal, not only simply sale the product, but also build a brand image.
Advertisement industry has been growing
rapidly
lately,
especially
since we have entered the social media era.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
entrepreneurs introduce their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and innovations by advertising through social media.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that advertising is not useful if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
can
be sold
easily
. There is
also
a notion that if this case happened, advertising will
be lost
its main function and can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as an entertaining source. In this essay, I shall
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
functions of advertising itself and provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
arguments why I disagree with the statement above.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, advertising has several functions,
for instance
introducing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
, creating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
image
, and increasing sales. There are several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
that are not necessary to
be advertised
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
reach niche
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
,
namely
Rolex,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brand
of a luxury
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
.
However
,
in general
terms, advertising a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
can give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
beneficial impacts as mentioned
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.

Furthermore
, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
segment and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
size that we want to reach for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
. If we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about short-term sales and profit, then advertising is
clearly
unnecessary.
For example
, selling a homemade cake to our classmates. It can be
easily
sold,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is not scalable and sustainable.
However
, if we want to sell skin care
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
gain customers’ trust even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to try the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
samples. We
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
build the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
image
that the skin care
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
that we
are sold
are safe. Once we have gained customers trust and
successfully
built the desirable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
image
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
selling will be increasing year by year, and this process can
be enhanced
by endorsing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
actress to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the skin care products.

To conclude
, I
personally
disagree with the opinion that advertising is unnecessary and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
a kind of entertainment. I believe there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits of advertising a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
if we set a long-term and sustainable goal, not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
simply
sale the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
build a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
image
.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay If a product is sold and people buy it, then advertising is not necessary and can be considered a kind of entertainment. with this? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
335 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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