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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Modern transportation and shipping has made the world a better place to live. Use specific reasons and details to explain your opinion. v.334

Modern transportation and shipping has made the world a better place to live. Use specific reasons and details to explain your opinion. v. 334
As is known, over a few decades in some countries in the world all people are separated two groups as wealthy and impoverished. Therefore, some suggest that a vast majority of people believe the best method to more cheerful in humanity is to ensure rich and destitute people differ from each other. I somewhat agree with the above-mentioned idea as the arguments for and against it are equal. This essay will discuss both sides of the provided argument The major reason why I think that the governments ought not to discriminate between people is that because almost all people have the same rights. To be more specific, there are some differences between people who are not similar in their monetary value. However, these differences cannot allow people to respect other people in a different aspects. One clear example to this is in some countries, particularly in the Asian countries rich families do not allow their children to marry another person who is a member of a poor family. From another angle I am also convinced that governments should set some penalties for people who separate people, as a result of which they do not respect impoverished members of humanity. Moreover, authorities build public buildings such as schools or hospitals which are used by all people without paying money. This is because if governments constructed these kinds of constructions, all members of society use them simultaneously, as a result of which they do not feel any differences between them. For instance, in some European cities which are the best according to the lifestyle of dwellers almost all public places like schools, colleges or hospitals free of charge. In summary, considering the above-mentioned reasons, I somehow agree that if all people are not discriminated each other according to their monetary value, forming a happy society is possible. I recommend that all people can respect each other without considering monetary levels.
As
is known
, over a few decades in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries in the world all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are separated
two groups as wealthy and impoverished.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
suggest that a vast majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe the best method to more cheerful in humanity is to ensure rich and destitute
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
differ from each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
. I somewhat
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the above-mentioned
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
as the arguments for and against it are equal. This essay will discuss both sides of the provided
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
argument


The major reason why I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
ought not to discriminate between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
almost all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have the same rights. To be more specific, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
differences between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are not similar in their monetary value.
However
, these differences cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to respect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "aspect"?
aspects
. One
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
example to this is in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries,
particularly
in the Asian countries rich families do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
their children to marry another person who is a member of a poor family.

From another angle I am
also
convinced that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should set
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
penalties for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who separate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
as a result
of which they do not respect impoverished members of humanity.
Moreover
, authorities build public buildings such as schools or hospitals which are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
without paying money. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
constructed these kinds of constructions, all members of society
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them
simultaneously
,
as a result
of which they do not feel any differences between them.
For instance
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
European cities which are the best according to the lifestyle of dwellers almost all public places like schools, colleges or hospitals free of charge.

In summary, considering the above-mentioned reasons, I somehow
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that if all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not discriminated each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
according to their monetary value, forming a happy society is possible. I recommend that all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can respect each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
without considering monetary levels.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Modern transportation and shipping has made the world a better place to live. Use specific reasons and details to explain your opinion. v. 334

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
318 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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